atwork

Three contractors are at a theme park to bid for a job repairing fences – one is from New York, one from Texas and the third from Florida. First to bid is the Florida contractor. He measures up and says, “Well, I reckon we’ll do the job for $900. That’s $400 for materials, $400 for…

Me: “Sir, would you like to use any coupons today?” Customer: “Yes, I’ve been saving them. Here you go!” (He hands me a coupon that had expired five years previously.) Me: “Sir, your coupon is expired.” Customer: “WHAT?! What do you mean its expired? You f***ing b****, you’re just trying to steal my f***ing money!…

A unit of soldiers was marching a long dusty march across the rolling prairie. It was a blisteringly hot day and the men, longing for water and rest, were impatient to reach the next town. A rancher rode past. “Say, friend,” called out one of the men, “how far is it to the next town?”…

You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number (Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.) Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?” Customer: “How much for my daughter?” Me: “Um…” Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.” Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”…

Operator: “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your …” Customer: “Halloo, can I order?” Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?” Customer: “It’s eh …, hold on … 698-45-54610 …” Operator : “OK… you’re … Mr Steven Huckleberry and you’re calling from 17 Retief Str. Your home…

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help. “Yes!” he says looking and sounding relieved, “This is very important.” Glad to help, she…

A couple is at an Art exhibition, and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men, sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis, and the one in the middle has a pink penis. As the couple is looking…

This is a story about four people named Everyjoke, Somejoke, Anyjoke, and Nojoke. There was an important job to be done, and Everyjoke was asked to do it. Everyjoke was sure Somejoke would do it. Anyjoke could have done it, but Nojoke did it. Somejoke got angry about that, because it was Everyjoke’s job. Everyjoke…

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “I will…

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, is never lazy. He’s always hard at work in his cubicle. Bob is always working independently, without wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never thinks twice about assisting fellow employees. He is great. His assignments are always on time, never late. You should hire him. Often, Bob skips his…

There once was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. He retired following a happy thirty-year career. Shortly thereafter his company contacted him about a seemingly impossible problem with one of their million-dollar machines. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. After spending a day studying the huge machine, he marked…

When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. “Step aside lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first-aid!” The woman watched for a few…