atwork

After the last teacher quit, a new teacher was hired. On her first day of work, she saw “AAFTWC” on the board. “What is the meaning of this?” the new teacher asked. A white kid stood up and replied, “An apple from the white children.” On her second day, the teacher walked in, and saw…

On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, which expressed “Deepest Sympathy”. While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card. “Oh, it’s all right,” said the storekeeper. “I’m a businessman and I…

A couple of weeks after hearing a sermon on Psalms 51:2-4 (knowing my own hidden secrets) and Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the following letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep, knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income, and have enclosed a…

The accountant’s prayer: “Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time.”

As a shepherd you herd your sheep into your barn. As you walk away you hear two wolves in the barn. What do you do? I would get the flock out of there!

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole…

Bill Smith started the day early, having set his alarm clock (made in Japan), for 6.00 a.m. While his coffee pot (made in Japan), is perking, he puts his blow dryer (made in Taiwan) to work and shaves with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong). He puts on a dress shirt (made in Taiwan),…

Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day…

The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME. FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite…

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be…

Teacher: Justin if I had ten tennis balls in one hand, and twelve in another what would I have? Justin: Huge hands sir

Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure. ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police…