atwork
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What DO They Mean?
in JokesDid they mean these ads to read as they do? Man, honest. Will take anything. Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 3-year-old teacher need for…
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Management
in JokesA company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means…
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Actual Police Quotes
in JokesThe following are quotes made by real police officers: “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them a while.” “So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the…
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Performance Definitions
in JokesSome of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations he/she keeps cranking out. Well, here it is: AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one…
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Boss Truism
in Jokes“I finally got my boss to laugh,” said one friend to another after work. “Oh, how?” “I asked for a raise!”
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Chinese Juice
in JokesAn airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: “I don’t like Chinese.” The First Officer replies: “Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why…
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The Christmas Party
in JokesA waitress at a restaurant that David worked at had a change of clothes stolen from the break room. To make matters worse, she’d planned on wearing them to the Christmas party. As a brand-new employee, David knew none of this backstory, so you can imagine his surprise when the found a note on the…
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Yankee Doodle
in JokesThe song, “Yankee Doodle” was originally sung by British soldiers to insult the colonialists (which was typical of the British in those days). The Continental Army took to singing it to annoy the British (which was typical of the colonialists).
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Making a Monkey Of Them
in JokesOutside the Bristol Zoo, in England, there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses. It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 (about $1.40) and coaches £5 (about $7). This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then, one day,…
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Men and Their Cars
in JokesThree men were at a business convention where they were discussing cars. One man said, “I am an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.” Another man says, “I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort.” The last man speaks up saying, “Well, I beat both of you – I am a proctologist, so…
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Prison v. Work
in JokesPrison v. Work In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8′ by 10′ cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6′ by 8′ cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay…
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From My Dad.
in Jokes21st Century… Our communication – Wireless Our dress – Topless Our telephone – Cordless Our cooking – Fireless Our youth – Jobless Our food – Fatless Our labour – Effortless Our conduct – Worthless Our relation – Loveless Our attitude – Careless Our feelings – Heartless Our politics – Shameless Our education – Valueless Our…