atwork

The policeman stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. “I’m Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia,” she said. The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, “Well, OK… but don’t let me catch you speeding again.”

November 15, 1996 – PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said “Tower, this is United 586. We’ve got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first.” The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.

Winters are fierce in northern Scotland, so the owner of the estate felt he was doing a good deed when he bought a pair of earmuffs for his foreman. One cold, blustery day, he noticed that the foreman wasn’t wearing them. In fact, he couldn’t recall a time he’d ever seen the man wear the…

PLEASE DON’T SMOKE IN MY OFFICE! I enjoy sex more than you enjoy smoking but you don’t see me screwing in your office.

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 a.m. on the dot; he had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 a.m. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out…

I once got hired for a “wonderful” new job! And here is the “wonderful” note I found attached to my “wonderful” first paycheck: PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our new employees better understand their paychecks: Item Amount Gross pay $1,222.02 Income tax $244.40 Outgo tax $45.21 State tax $11.61…

A man applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the envelope. Inside, a message read: “You’re our kind of…

Meteorologists – People who tell something wrong and still get paid.

One day Jack’s dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face. Jack returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, “Son, why are you late from school?” Jack answered, “Dad, we had extra classes today.”…

One day, a reporter for a suburban newspaper happened upon a construction site with a sign that ominously warned: “DANGER. RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS.” Driven by the prospect of a hard-hitting expose, he made a quick call to his editor, then returned to the scene to investigate. The construction supervisor looked unhappy to see him; “I’ll tell…

Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store’s shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, “I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we’re selling.” Within minutes, a man did just that, “Hey,…

A photographer from a well-known national magazine was assigned to cover the recent Southern California fires. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the firefighters as they battled the blazes. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible…