atwork
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Air Traffic Talk CAN Be Fun
in JokesHere is a short story to show you that the stodgy air traffic controllers and the flyers they serve can have a sense of humor: The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (to do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot…
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Office Rules
in Jokes1) If it rings, put it on hold. 2) If it clanks, call the repairman. 3) If it whistles, ignore it. 4) If it’s a friend, take a break. 5) If it’s the boss, look busy. 6) If it talks, take notes. 7) If it’s handwritten, type it. 8) If it’s typed, copy it. 9)…
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Interviewing Tips Not to Use!
in JokesUsing the following list will most certainly keep your afternoons free and enable you to watch those cool Oprah and Sally shows. When filling out the job application form, under the heading ‘Sex’, instead of writing male or female, write in, “Not nearly enough, but I’m trying!” In the same form under the heading ‘Have…
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Real Dilbert Quotes
in JokesA magazine recently ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists: 1. “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards…
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I’m Hungry!
in JokesOne night, a few co-workers at the computer data centre stayed late and all started to feel hungry. They decided to order in food by phone, but their boss thought that, since they worked with computers, it would be more appropriate to order by Internet. After they contacted a fast food chain’s web site and…
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Bad Excuses for Missing Work
in JokesI just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information. I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? When I got up this morning…
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Secretary
in JokesTwo weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say,”Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any, “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you. Maybe…
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Einstein
in JokesAlbert Einstein was getting bored with making the same speech over and over again at different meetings, so one night, after a long day, his chauffeur jokingly said, “I’ve heard your speech so many times, I know it word for word! Why don’t you take the night off and let me deliver the talk this…
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Tasty Soup
in JokesAfter his recent stay in the hospital, Pa was particularly irritable, especially regarding food. At a nearby restaurant he stopped for a quick meal and the waiter provided a bowl of soup. As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen Pa stopped him, calling: “Waiter!” “Yes, sir, is there something wrong?” “The soup.…
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IT’S OBVIOUS
in JokesI almost got fired for telling this joke at work: Do you know why fireman have bigger balls than policeman? They sell more tickets!
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What Yacht You Got?
in JokesGoodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money some day. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possibilities of the brokerage business. “Look at that yacht,” he said as they drove slowly past a marina. “That…