atwork

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone…

How To Keep The IT Guy Happy When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse…

STAFF NOTICE – TOILET POLICY Effective immediately, a toilet policy will be established to provide more consistent method of accounting for staff during working hours, thus ensuring effective time management & equal treatment of all. In the future, the doors to all toilets will be equipped with computer linked voice recognition devices, which can only…

A truck driver was going south on I-75, when he came upon a weight station. When he pulled in and got on the scales to be weighed, the scale master told the driver that he was 900lbs. over weight. The truck driver replied, “I can take care or that.” The scale master asked he how…

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Quickly, God was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. God was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part. Then God said, “Let there be…

“So, how did you do?” the boss asked his new salesman after his first day on the road. “All I got were two orders.” “What were they? Anything good?” “Nope,” the salesman replied. “They were ‘Get out!’ and ‘Stay out!”

Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard. One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.” The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned shortly and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.” “All…

In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet. The copier is out of order! Yes, we have called the service man. Yes, he will be in today. No,…

As an architect watched a mechanic remove engine parts from his car, a surgeon, waiting for his own car to be repaired, walked over. They introduced themselves, and began talking about their lines of work. “You know,” said the architect, “I sometimes believe a mechanic’s work is as complicated as the work that we do.”…

Quotes from Officer Fitness Reports: He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope – always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. When…

The boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” …at…

If you receive an e-mail entitled “Badtimes”, delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. This one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms…