atwork

Doctor: Mrs Smith, you have acute angina. Mrs. Smith: I came here to be examined, not admired.

1. Customer: “I’ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can’t get through to inquiries, can you help?” Operator: “Where did you get that number from, sir?” Customer: “It was on the door to the Travel Center.” Operator: “Sir, they are our opening hours.” 2. Samsung Electronics Caller: “Can you give me the telephone…

This Australian truck driver is looking for a long distance driving job in Adelaide. He gets offered a job driving a load of bowling balls to Darwin. He’s not too keen on this, but he needs the money and so takes off. A while along the highway he sees two Aborigines with a bike, in…

Quasimodo, the bell-ringer for the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, goes to the cardinal. “Cardinal, I’m getting pretty old and I’d like to retire, and live the rest of my life peacefully.” The cardinal says, “That’s fine Quasi, we’ll just let the town crier know so he can put out the call to find a…

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked. Here’s why: The population of this country is 273 million.…

Buy company, fire them. Beware of machine guns.

A business man in Chicago had occasion to write a Japanese friend in Tokyo. Mindful of the Oriental’s appreciation of flowery language and of his own duty to the cause of good public relations, he ended his letter with the wish, “May Heaven preserve you always.” To the delight of the business man’s office staff,…

A bright young executive had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech firm. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and handed him three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can handle,” he said. Well, things went along…

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

I plan to be spontaneous – tomorrow. You know, if I looked like you, then I’d probably be plastering make-up on, too. You looked in a mirror lately? You’re just jealous – weighing 10 stone is a big achievement. You remind me of a person I once knew. He was called the Hulk. If you…

It was a dark, stormy, night. The marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A general stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out “Sir, good evening, sir!” The general, out for some relaxation, returned the salute…

INTEROFFICE MEMO Subject: Special High Intensity Training In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel…