atwork

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Director was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul was met at the Pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St Peter, “Before you get settled in, it seems we have a problem. You see, we’ve never had…

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says: “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc, and then asks, “what is your occupation?” “I’m a whore,” she says. The accountant balks…

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms. I am loyal to my employer at all costs.Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45…

Two detectives were investigating a scene, The victims had their hands and head cut off. “It’s going to be a nightmare identifying the bodies, with no finger prints or faces” said one. The other replied, “I thought it would be rather easy, how many people do you know walking around with no head or hands?”

Jim is in a hot-air balloon, completely lost. He sees a man in a field below and flies down to him. “Excuse me sir, but can you tell me where I am?” The man in the field replied “You’re in a balloon.” Jim said “You’re an engineer, aren’t you?” “Why yes, I am. How did…

Another Month Ends: All Targets Met, All Systems Working, All Customers Satisfied, All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic, All Pigs Fed and Ready to Fly.

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, “This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the…

A boss of a computer company walked up to one of his workers. “You’re fired!” exclaimed the boss. “I didn’t do anything!” replied the confused worker. The boss, happy with his answer, says, “I know. That’s why you’re fired!”

(To truely enjoy this joke you should first read Wocka jokes: December 1st. December 2nd. December 3rd. Enjoy!) FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: December 7th RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids…

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everyjoke, except one girl, laughed uproariously. “What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?” “I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving Friday.”

When the joke was first made all the parts of the joke were fighting to see who would become the boss of the joke. The fight for power was most intense between the limbs, the brain, and ….. the asshole. The limbs said they should be boss because they control the human, and without them…

I studied and studied and came up with a conclusion 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. 5. The sport of…