atwork

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below…

Week 1 – Memo No. 1 Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice. Week 3 – Memo No. 2 Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.…

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: “If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I’ll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.”

A woman just got a new job and her co-workers told her her first assignment: to fire the janitor, Don. The woman was very nervous about doing this, so she decided to get it over with fast. She marched up with her head down and said to the man, “I’m sorry, but you’re fired!” Her…

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a Vice President of peas at the grocery store!” “Really?”…

An engineer, a mathmatician and an arts graduate were given the task of finding the height of a church steeple (the first to get the correct solution wins a $1000). The engineer tried to remember things about differential pressures, but resorted to climbing the steeple and lowering a string on a plumb bob until it…

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, “I’m a walking economy.” His friend replies, “How’s that?” “It’s like this — my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.”

1. Send us out to cash your checks and buy stamps in all weathers. Walking is exhilarating and as we sit down all day, the exercise does us good. 2. Do walk out of the office without telling us where you are going or how long you might be. We enjoy telling people who wish…

You Know It’s Your Last Day At Work When…… You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?”, you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old…

You’ve heard about the new hair salon which opened up right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place, haven’t you? They put up a big old sign, “WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!” Not to be outdone, the old shop put out their own sign: “WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS”

There was a question in our company newsletter asking about whether they could water the flowers in the bathroom since they were looking wilted and sick. The response was, “The flowers are artificial.” [Editor’s note: Evidently some employees created a rest room gas cloud powerful enough to wilt artificial plants. You have to admire that…

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him. The guy asks several more times:…