atwork

A man boarded an airplane in Sydney, Australia, with a box of crabs. A female crew member took it and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator, which she did. Shortly before landing, she couldn’t remember who gave her the package, so she announced to the entire cabin, “Would the gentleman who gave me…

You understand the rationalization of an acronym comprised of acronyms. You can name the project leader of more than 10 projects including your own, but still can’t explain in the simplest terms what they do. You know that the location of a meeting is directly related to its importance: (1) A meeting at Fort Hood…

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector asked, “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?” Billy Bob replied, “I would switch the points for one of…

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he…

Harry walks into his supervisor’s office. “Boss,” he says, “We’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” “We’re short-handed, Harry,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.” “Thanks, boss,” says Harry, “I knew I could…

This Story is true! For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you *don’t* know! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered…

Many employers motivate workers with bonuses. Some offer gym memberships, a few even supply day care for their working mothers and fathers. Our bosses go a step further. A sign posted in our break room read: New Incentive Plan . . . Work or get fired!

Things not to say to a policeman . . . – Care for a doughnut? – Met your quota? Happy now? – Before you arrest me, maybe Mr. George Washington could change your mind. – You’re NOT gonna check the trunk, are you? – I want your badge number and your superior officer’s name, NOW.…

When the husband arrived home, his wife met him at the door sobbing. He asked her what was wrong. “It’s the pharmacist,” she wailed. “He insulted me something awful on the phone this morning.” Hearing this, the husband immediately headed downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than…

Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, “How did these rocks…

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was steaming out of the channel.…