atwork

TRUE STORY My first job was working in an office at my cubicle. Unfortunately, they put me on the floor with a bunch of pranksters. While I was doing my work, I saw one a co-worker with a funnel down his pants, trying to catch a coin with it, for fun. He would throw the…

A man was riding in a cab one day when he decided to tap the cab driver on the shoulder to request an alternate route. The cab driver screams his head off and loses control of the cab, causing it to slam into a lightpost. After checking themselves out the man says, “I’m sorry. I…

A guy eats at a restaurant. At the end of the meal, the guy looks at the check: Salads . . . . . . $3 Steak . . . . . . $10 Works . . . . . . .$5 Cola . . . . . . . $2 ———————– Total $20 The…

Any time the alarm goes off after-hours at the municipal office where I work, the security company calls me at home and I have to go back and reset it. Late at night I got one of those calls. As I was getting ready to head out the door, my husband groggily said: “You’re not…

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with…

“They’re multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.” – Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Director was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul was met at the Pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St Peter, “Before you get settled in, it seems we have a problem. You see, we’ve never had…

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says: “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc, and then asks, “what is your occupation?” “I’m a whore,” she says. The accountant balks…

I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms. I am loyal to my employer at all costs.Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45…

Two detectives were investigating a scene, The victims had their hands and head cut off. “It’s going to be a nightmare identifying the bodies, with no finger prints or faces” said one. The other replied, “I thought it would be rather easy, how many people do you know walking around with no head or hands?”

Jim is in a hot-air balloon, completely lost. He sees a man in a field below and flies down to him. “Excuse me sir, but can you tell me where I am?” The man in the field replied “You’re in a balloon.” Jim said “You’re an engineer, aren’t you?” “Why yes, I am. How did…

Another Month Ends: All Targets Met, All Systems Working, All Customers Satisfied, All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic, All Pigs Fed and Ready to Fly.