atwork

1. There is no “I” in “teamwork.” But there is in “management kiss-up.” 2. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday. 3. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 4. Doing a job RIGHT…

“We Haven’t Had Any” A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.” Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am.…

I wouldn’t have believed this unless I seen it with my own eyes. I was walking down a street in the city I live in and noticed a store was going out of business. In the window was a huge sign “GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE”, directly below that sign was another sign that said…

Dad to his family: The phone bill is exceptionally high. You have to limit its use. I don’t use this telephone. I use the one a the office. Mum: Same here, I hardly use this phone as I use my work telephone. Son: Me too, I never use the home telephone. I always use my…

When the salesman dropped in to pay a visit to one of his customers, he found the office empty except for a very large dog who was emptying wastebaskets. Rubbing his eyes, he was certain they must have been playing tricks on him. “Don’t look so surprised,” said the dog, “after all, this is part…

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. “Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.”

I was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at an engineering university. I used to work repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it, I started heating…

A recent college graduate got hired by the human-development center of a large corporation to train the employees in proper dress code and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man who was casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. “Dressed a little casually today, aren’t…

(It’s Halloween, and I’m dressed up as a vampire and wearing a pentacle necklace. The crew is planning on going out after work for a party.) Me: “Did you find everything you needed tonight?” Customer: “Yes, thank you. Can I just say that I think it was very nice of them to let you all…

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she’s not feeling well. “What’s the matter?” he asks. “I have a case of anal glaucoma,” she says in a weak voice. “What in the hell is anal glaucoma?” he inquires. “Well, I just can’t see my ass coming…

A woman is having a problem with her closet door, it was falling off every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls off every time a bus passes by. “OK, I’m going to see what is going on, just close…

Five policemen were on a boat. The boat sank. How many policemen died? 10 – five during the accident, and five during the re-enactment.