bar

One day a man with a box walked in a bar. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, “I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here.” There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of…

The skeleton walked into the bar and asked, “Can I have a beer and a mop?”

A woman goes to a new bar at the top of a skyscraper and over by the counter she sees an attractive man. She keeps her eye on him as she orders a drink, and she sees the man take a shot and jump out the window. She’s so shocked she can’t speak, but moments…

Waiter, this plate is wet. That’s your soup, sir.

A guy is sitting with a woman at a bar late at night and they are flirting with each other. The lady tells him all about herself and the man sits there listening. After she is done, the man repeats what she said. “So, you’re a 20 year old college graduate from Harvard, a famous…

A man goes into the bar and orders a scotch. He gulps it down, and looks in his hand. He orders another one. He gulps it down and orders another one. He again looks in his hand. He orders 2 scotches this time and gulps them both down. He looks in his hand. The bartender,…

A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender, not wanting to serve a mushroom, says “Uh uh, I’m not serving no mushroom.” “Aw, come on – I’m a fungi!” the mushroom replies.

They sat in the comer of Mulligan’s refurbished bar, opposite a huge new floor-to-ceiling mirror. Suddenly Pat spotted their reflection across the room. “Mick! Mick!” he whispered. “Don’t look now, but there’s two fellas over there that’s the image of us!” “In the name of God,” said Mick, spotting the reflection, “and they’re wearing identical…

A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before problems start!” Again, the man orders a beer again saying, “Give me a beer before problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When…

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him. “You, sir, are drunk!” “And you ma’am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!”

A girl walks into a bar and sits down with her friend. She is feeling down, so she talks to her friend. Her friend says “Go get a beer.” She says she didn’t want one. Then the friend says “Hey, who said it was for you?” copyright fox corp.

One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar, and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer’s hoof. As he handed…