bar
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Drinking
in JokesA fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2 a.m., at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs,…
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Super Strength
in JokesA man walks into a bar and throws down a bet. 100 dollars to anyone who can do 100 pushups. A man disappears outside and returns minutes later. “I’ll take that bet” the man says, and collapses after 50 pushups. “I don’t get it”, he says,” I just did 150 outside!”
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Personal Question
in JokesA guy walked up to a beautiful young woman in a bar. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” he said to her. “I don’t know,” replied the beautiful young woman. “It depends how personal it is.” “OK,” the guy said. “How many men have you slept with?” “I’m not going to…
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The Girlfriend
in JokesA man walks into a bar and has a lot of drinks. He gets completely wasted. He mentions to the bartender that he has his girlfriend sitting in his new corvette outside so she can drive him home. While the bartender went outside to throw out the garbage he notices a corvette with a man…
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A Sandwich
in JokesA sandwich walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve food.”
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Followed Some Tracks
in JokesOne time there were three guys sitting at a bar. One was stupid, one was pretty smart, and the third was very intelligent. Well, they were sitting at the bar and the pretty smart one says that they should go on a deer hunt. “I’ll go first,” says the smart one. Later the man comes…
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Signs that You are Drunk
in JokesYou lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Your career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the…
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Some Kind of Joke
in JokesAn Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says “What is this – some kind of joke?”
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Alcoholic Courage
in JokesA young man entered a bar, walked to the counter and told the barman, “May I have a question, sir? I heard that a drink of beer will bring you the courage to do something terrible that you hate to do? Is that right, sir?” “Yes, I guess so,” the barman answered with a smile.…
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Different Nationalities
in Jokes“Three people of different nationalities walk into a bar. Two of them say something smart, and the third one makes a mockery of his fellow countrymen by acting dumb.”