bar

The Englishman and the Scotsman both walk into a bar. The Irishman ducks under it.

Look here, waiter! How long must I wait for that half-duck I ordered? Until somejoke orders the other half. We can’t go out and kill half a duck.

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.” A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation,…

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer, He drinks it, and 5 minutes later orders another. This goes on for 2 hours straight, the guy ordering a beer every 5 minutes or so. After 2 hours the guy has had 24 beers and is pretty drunk. The bartender looks at the guy…

Jack locked up his bar and headed home. He’d been asleep a few minutes when the telephone rang. “What time do you open in the morning?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire. Furious, Jack slammed the phone down and went back to sleep. But the same guy called again. ” You might as well…

The Blonde walked into a bar. The Brunette used the door. The redhead actually OPENED the door, and the Asian actually WENT THROUGH the door.

There was a little guy in a bar drinking his beer, when all of a sudden a big guy comes and knocks him off his stool and says “that was a karate chop from Japan” The little guy get’s back up on his stool again and start’s to drink his beer again, when all of…

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, “No thanks. I don’t drink. I tried it once, but I didn’t like it.” So the bartender said, “Well, would you like a cigarette?” But the man…

A man was sitting in a bar, nursing a beer and looking extremely dejected. The sympathetic bartender said, “Man, you look real down. Wanna talk about it? Sometimes it helps.” “Well, I doubt it,” replied the man. “You see, I’m a composer who hasn’t had much luck. It seems the world is really against me.…

Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair And one could tell by how he walked that he’d drunk more than his share He fumbled ’round until he could no longer keep his feet And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street. About that time two young…

An Irish man walks out of a bar…………..Hey, It could happen

A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.