bar

One time there were three guys sitting at a bar. One was stupid, one was pretty smart, and the third was very intelligent. Well, they were sitting at the bar and the pretty smart one says that they should go on a deer hunt. “I’ll go first,” says the smart one. Later the man comes…

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Your career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the…

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says “What is this – some kind of joke?”

A young man entered a bar, walked to the counter and told the barman, “May I have a question, sir? I heard that a drink of beer will bring you the courage to do something terrible that you hate to do? Is that right, sir?” “Yes, I guess so,” the barman answered with a smile.…

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. “Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman. “Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. “You’re under 21,” replies the barman.

“Three people of different nationalities walk into a bar. Two of them say something smart, and the third one makes a mockery of his fellow countrymen by acting dumb.”

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for three shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, “What happened?” The guy replies, “I just found out my younger brother is gay.” He finish’s his shots and leaves. The next day he comes back and orders five shots and the bartender asks, ” What happened…

There’s a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I…

A well dressed man walks into a bar in a rather rough side of town. The bartender watches to make sure no fights break out with him. To the bartenders suprise, the man starts hitting his hand like hes dialing a telephone. He puts his hand to his ear and starts talking. The bartender goes…

A guy walks into a bar with his midget wife and takes a stool, with his wife standing next to him. The bartender was busy at the other end and didn’t see them when they walked in. When he got done serving the customers there, he walked down the bar and asks the new customer…

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?” The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I have.” The bartender says, “What do you have?” The guy says, “75 cents.”

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.