blonde

January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels . . . Helllloooo!!! . . . bottles won’t fit in printer!!! March – Got really excited . . . finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months . . . box said…

Two bosses were talking about how dumb their blond assistants are. The first boss says, “You think your assistant is dumb, watch this.” And the man calls over the blond and says “Go to my house and see if I’m home.” So the blond says “Yes sir! Right away sir!” and away she goes. The…

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common? A: They’re both fun to…

Today in history class the topic was the Incas. Hoping to see if the students had done the reading, the teacher calls on random students and asks them questions. “Where could the Incas be found?” The teacher’s first question. “Jonie?” foolishly she called on the blonde. Not having actually done the homework, and only halfway…

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. “Never mind, I got in…

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, “You have acute appendicitis.” The blonde yelled at the doctor, “I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!”

1) Did you hear about the blond skydiver? She Missed! 2) What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Twins! 3) Why doesn’t a blonde drive a BMW? Because she can’t spell it! 4) How is a blonde the same as a bottle? Thier both empty from the neck up! 5) Did you hear…

A blonde and a brunette are walking along the sidewalk, and the brunette says she is dying of thirst and wants Dr. Pepper. The blonde runs across town into the nearest hospital and asks the receptionist for Dr. Pepper. The receptionist says OK, and hands her a bottle of soda. The blonde says, “What do…

When my wife and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. My wife went up to the hostess (who was blonde) and asked, “Will it be long?” The hostess, ignoring her, kept on writing in her book. My wife again asked “How much of a wait?” The blonde looked up, “About…

A blonde had twin girls – she called them Kate and Duplicate. Then she had twin boys – she called them Pete and Repeat.

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a beautiful blonde. “I just got this amazing watch,” he tells her, “it can reads alpha waves, and can tell me what a person is thinking.” “What does it say about me?” asked the blonde. “It says you want to sleep with me,” said…

There was once a blonde who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of her. She decided to do something about it. She sat back and thought about it. Suddenly she thought – “I have never seen anyone making fun of brunettes. So, if I start talking and behaving like them and…