blonde

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but…

Two friends went to the mall to go shopping; one was a brunette and the other was blonde. As they were shopping, the blonde suddenly said: “That girl could pass as my twin.” The brunette starts laughing. The blonde says: “What is so funny?” The brunette says, “That was a mirror.”

Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice? Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up? Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.–Mentally Deficient? Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper…

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?” “Not really,” the blonde replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.” “Poor dear,” Mom said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from…

On the first day of their Honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied,…

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45…

The blond asked for peanuts on the plane, but she once she got them, she gave them back to the stewardess and asks her to check if there really are peanuts in the bag. The stewardess asks why, to which the blond responds: “The bag says ‘May Contain Nuts’”

Q: Why did the blonde have bruises around her bellybutton? A: Because her boyfriend was blond too!

– How many blonds do you need to change a lightbulb ? – Hundred. One holds the lightbulb and the other ninety nine rotates the house.

One day a blonde and her boyfriend went to a car store. He asks her what car she wants but she says, “I dunno.” So he takes her around to all the car shops and she says, “I want the BMW.” He asks her why she wants a BMW and she says, “Because I dunno…

A blonde woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car She didn’t know what…

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all go to a bar. The redhead walks up to the bartender and says,”I’ll have a BL.” So the bartender gives her a Bud Light. The brunette walks up next and says,”I’ll have an ML.” So the bartender gives her a Miller Light. The blonde is catchingon so…