blonde

  • Going Fishing

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second…

  • Tale Of The Sandwich Trailer

    Here’s the background: Bill works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of CSUC; Chuck is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Bill, this actually happened. (Chuck is telling the story). Her: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it. Me: So, that’s just…

  • Blondes Will Be Blonde

    Why did they ban the wave at the local football games? *Too many blondes were drowning. Why was the blonde on the roof of the bar? *Someone told her that the drinks were on the house. Why don’t blondes eat M&Ms? *They are too hard to peel. Why do blondes take the pill? *It’s the…

  • Bet Money She Was Blond…

    Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa, I called the hotel where I’d be staying to see if they had a gym. The hotel receptionist’s sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it when she answered. “We have over 300 guests at at this facility” she said.   “Does this ‘Jim’ have a last…

  • Zip Code

    A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.” Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” Blonde: “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Psychiatrist:…

  • Blonde and a Horse

    A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but…

  • She Could be My Twin

    Two friends went to the mall to go shopping; one was a brunette and the other was blonde. As they were shopping, the blonde suddenly said: “That girl could pass as my twin.” The brunette starts laughing. The blonde says: “What is so funny?” The brunette says, “That was a mirror.”

  • A Few Jokes

    Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice? Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up? Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.–Mentally Deficient? Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper…

  • Sick Blonde

    A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city. Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?” “Not really,” the blonde replied. “I’m nauseous from sitting backward on the train.” “Poor dear,” Mom said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from…

  • On the First Day…

    On the first day of their Honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied,…

  • Snowstorm

    A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45…

  • Airline Food

    The blond asked for peanuts on the plane, but she once she got them, she gave them back to the stewardess and asks her to check if there really are peanuts in the bag. The stewardess asks why, to which the blond responds: “The bag says ‘May Contain Nuts’”