blonde

BLONDE #1: I found some jokes about us blondes online. They’re inaccurate! They make us look- BLONDE #2:Ugly? BLONDE #3:Fat? BLONDE #4:Lazy? BLONDE #5:Mean? BLONDE #1:No, stupidly funny.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tracks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said “DON’T WALK”

A young blonde stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored…

One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car. “If I take them out of the car I lose them,” she reasoned. “Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?” the husband countered. “Oh that’s okay,” the wife chirped happily, “I keep a…

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question: “How many D’s are there in “INDIANA JONES?” The brunette thinks for a…

A blond, brunette, and redhead are talking. The blond asks the brunette, “Where did you get those hair streaks?” She answers, “Its natural.” The brunette asks the redhead the same question. “Its natural.” she answers. The redhead and brunette ask the blond, “How did you get that green streak in your hair?” She answers, “Phhnnnggg,”…

A blonde walks into a hospital in slight discomfort. “Can I have a hot towel to put on my nose, please?” The nurse was curious and asked, “Why would you like a hot towel to put on your nose?” The blonde replies, “Well, I wanted to sniff some coke to see what the big deal…

A blonde went to the eye doctor one day. She complained to the doctor that she couldn’t see and was having a hard time driving because of this. He then told her that she would need glasses. The blond knowing that the glasses would cost a couple of hundred dollars decided to save her money…

1 A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, “Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them.” A red head said, “O.K., what’s the capital of Wyoming?” The blonde replied, “Oh, that’s easy, ‘W’.” 2 A blonde was telling…

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

There’s a blonde who goes to a pizza parlor. When she orders, she asks for her pizza to be cut up into 6 slices instead of eight. Why? A: She’s not hungry enough to eat eight.

Three men are fishing. One catches a magic fish that will grant each one a wish if they let him go. The first one wishes he could double his IQ. It is done. The second one wishes to triple his IQ. It is done. The last one (who is an idiot) wishes to multiply his…