blonde

How can you tell the difference between a blonde and a red head? Hair color.

Q: How can you find a blonde in a submarine? A: Simple, she would be the only one with a parachute on!

How can you tell if a blonde has been in your fridge? There is lipstick on the cucumber

Did you hear about the blonde who ran for president? She got tired after 2 miles and dropped out of the running.

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. “Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?” “No, Silly!”…

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.” “I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the…

A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife, a blonde, to give me a hand starting the car. I told her to…

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert because their car broke down. The redhead grabs some water, the brunette grabs some food, and the blonde grabs the car door. They began walking, when the redhead turns to the brunette and says,” Why did you bring the food?” She replies, ”…

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today…

What is more stupid then a brunette trying to start a fire in a pool? A blonde trying to put it out.

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, a cell phone for their first anniversary. Susie was excited about the phone and the next day, while shopping, it rang and to her surprise, it was her husband. “Hi, Susie,” he said. “How do you like your new phone?” Susie replied, “I just…

#1: When her teacher said to write an essay, she brought in a sheet of paper saying “An Essay.” #2: When she caught on fire nearby a lake, she called the fire department. #3: She drank a bottle of root beer and said, “This doesn’t taste like beer, or roots.” #4: She gave 200 dollars…