blonde

  • Swimming

    A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were swimming the breast stroke in a race. The blonde comes in last and says “Not to be a sore loser or anything, but I think the other girls were using their hands.”.

  • True Blonde

    Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind. The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down.…

  • Washing Machine

    A Blonde walks into an electronic store. A saleswoman goes up to him and introduces a washing machine. Saleswoman: Sir, this machine in gurantee to do half of all your laundry. Blonde: That’s nice, I’ll take two.

  • Whos the Smart One Now?

    Once there was a blond, a red head, and a brunette. They had to tell a joke in order not to go to hell. So the red head goes first: “What do you call a boy going to jail? A Micheal Jackson lover.” (not that funny) So she goes to hell. Then the burnette says:…

  • Chain Link Fence

    Why do blondes climb chain-link fences? To see what’s on the other side.

  • Chinese Nickname

    Do you know the Chinese nickname for the Dutch politician Geert Wilders? Answer: Dum Thing!

  • PETA

    At a recent PETA meeting, some members were discussing people they had seen wearing fur coats. Joan, a redhead, said, “Yesterday I saw a man wearing a fur coat and I wanted to yell at him about the cruelness of that coat!” Jack, a brown haired man, said, “I saw a woman wearing a fur…

  • Camping Trip

    Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout. Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was…

  • Rectum Deodorant

    A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don’t sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from his store on a regular basis and would like some…

  • Brunette Jokes

    I always wondered why there are so many blond jokes,but no brunettes. I asked a brunette friend of mine. “Why do you think there are no brunette jokes?” I asked her. “Well,that’s a given. Blonds are too stupid to make them up.”

  • Row, Row, Row Your Boat

    This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could…

  • CRACK

    A blond and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blond asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?” The blond said, “I think I’m gonna buy a new butt, because…