blonde

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning,…

One day, a kindergarten teacher, who was incidentally blonde, gave everyjoke a set of crayons and told them to draw something with it. The teacher noticed that Little Johnny had drawn a sun enclosed in a box with rays shining out of it. ‘Johnny,’ said the teacher with a confused look. ‘Did your grandparents come…

Q. How did the blond injure herself raking leaves? A. She fell out of the tree!

Bobby-Hey do you remember what the teacher said in fourth hour? Jessica-?——–??? Bobby-Did you just have a blonde moment?

Why did the blonde steal a parked police car? She saw “911” and thought it was a Porsche. (Porsche 911)

Once a blond police officer stopped a man and asked for his driving license. She saw it and told the man “it says here that you must wear glasses” The man said “I have contacts” The blond said “I don’t care who you know, you are still getting a traffic ticket”

What did the blonde say to the red head? Nothing. She couldn’t remember what she was going to say!

How you get rid of grey hairs: 1. Dye all your hair the color grey. 2. Shave your head. 3. Now you have no grey hairs.

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?” “Why, officer?” asks the blonde. “Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.” “Oh my goodness,” exclaims the…

A blond employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. “The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says. “Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read…

One day, a blond put an advert in the library to start a marching band. 20 other blonds saw this advert and signed up. At their first destination they played “Oh, when the saints”. At their second destination they played the same song. At their third destination they played the same song yet again! When…

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White? A: They can’t find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.