children

Little Johnny’s mother took him to a supermarket to buy some food. “Anything you break comes out of your allowance money!” shouted Johnny’s mother. Johnny turned around and said “But you don’t give me any allowance money!” “Yes, and now you know why.”

There were three kids named My, Butt, and Stupid. They were pretty dumb and didn’t know the word and. One day, they were playing ball on the sixth floor. Then, suddenly Stupid dropped the ball out the window. My jumped out the window to get the ball, while Butt tried to jump out the window…

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everyjoke but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville. Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day…

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine-year-old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?” The nine-year-old replies, “Nope, not for my mom.” Without thinking, the cashier…

Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, “Did God make you, Grandpa?” “Yes, God made me,” the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, “Did God make me, too?” “Yes, He did,” the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa,…

How does the butcher introduce his wife Meat Patty

Why did the teacher have to put on her glasses during class? Because the kids were to bright!

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Norfolk to Las Vegas. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?” The mother, who couldn’t think of an…

This 4-year-old kid is sitting on the couch watching T.V. silently, with an angry look on his face. After a while, his mother notices this and asks him, “Why the long face?” “Well, Mommy, I know that you invited everyone to your wedding. You invited grandpa, grandma, my uncle, your friends and all . .…

A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Billy to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked… “Billy did you see the sky?” “Yes”, said Billy. “Did you see the sun?” “Yes”, said the boy. “Did you see God?” “No”, said the boy. The Teacher said, “So God…

A husband and wife decided they needed to use “code” to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter. One day the husband told his five year old daughter, “Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter”. The child told…

Kid’s Instructions on Life… “Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.” – Rocky, age 9 “Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning.” – Stephanie, age 8 “Don’t flush the john when your dad’s in the shower.” – Lamar, age 10 “Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents…