children

One day at Lee Elementary in the 1st grade hallway a little boy named Chris(kid #2 from my spoiled brat joke) and another child name sarah are walking down the hall way. (sarah and chris bump into each other) sarah:watch it doo doo head. chris:you watch it cootie pants. sarah:who are you calling cootie pants,freckle…

One night Aggie says to George “Think I’ll go to bingo the night George… when I’m gone you make sure the youngsters get in and go to bed” Now George and Aggie had thirteen kids the last time they counted. So when Aggie went off to bingo, George went out and made the youngsters come…

One day, during math class, the teacher asked Little Johnny, “If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?” “Seven,” replied Johnny. “No, Johnny. Listen carefully this time. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many would you have?” asked the…

A little boy asked his mother: Mummy, why are you white and I am black? Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party…, you are lucky that you don’t bark.

Young Justin has a cursing problem, and his father’s getting tired of it. He decides to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink says, “Negative reinforcement. Since Christmas is coming up, ask Justin what he wants from Santa. If he curses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop…

Q.)Why do kids pick their nose? A.)BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO DARN LAZY TO GET A TISSUE AND THEIR FAVORITE SHOW IS ON. EVEN THOUGH THEY’VE SEEN IT 1 HUNDRED TIMES, CAN’T MISS A SECOND TO GET A TISSUE, WHEN THEY HAVE THEIR FINGER FOR FAST AND EASY ANSWER FOR THEIR BOGERY NOSE! Q.) How do…

Little Johnny kept spelling the word “went” wrong, instead he spelt “whent”. His teacher, who was very fusterated, decided to keep him after class to spell “went” 100 times. The next day she comes into the classroom, thinking he learned his lesson, and sees the whole board is full of the word “went”. But at…

Kevin attended a horse auction with his father, watching as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Kevin asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that…

Little Johnny’s school was having show and tell, so the teacher started a ‘Guess What’s Behind My Back’ game. She went to her desk and picked something up. “Okay class,” she said, “guess what’s behind my back. It’s red, round, and shiny.” “I know, teacher! It’s an apple!” shouted Little Johnny! The teacher replied, “No…

Mom: “Why have you been sent home early, Jack?” Jack: “Because the boy next to me was smoking.” Mom: “But if he was smoking, why were you sent home?” Jack: “Because I set him on fire!”

Teacher – “Didn’t you promise to behave?” Johnny – “Yes, sir.” Teacher – “And didn’t I promise to punish you if you misbehaved?” Johnny – “Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you don’t have to keep yours.” Teacher – “How can one person make so many mistakes in one day?” Johnny – “I…

“I’m really too tired and unable to do my home work,” the son protested to his father. “Now my son, hard work has never killed any one yet, at least not at your age.” “Yes, but I don’t want to run the risk of being the first!”