children

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, “I’m running away from home!” The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. “What if you get hungry?” he said. “Then…

Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at school all week. They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning. The supervisor in charge asked…

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer “Dear Harold.” At this, dad interrupted and said, “Wait a minute, why did you call God ‘Harold’?” The little boy looked up and said, “That’s what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be…

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a moment, then gasped – “Didn’t you get my E-mail?” A 7-year old child was drawing a picture of the Nativity. The picture was very good,…

Teacher: Name an animal that lives in the tundra. Pupil:A reindeer. Teacher: Good, now name another one. Pupil: Another reindeer.

Three little boys were looking for a summer job. Their preacher needed some people to go around and sell bibles. So the preacher hired two boys without even thinking twice. But he was hesitant about hiring the third boy because he suffered from a speech impediment. So after the first days of work they all…

A manager in a big company needed to contact one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered voice on the first ring, “Hello?” “Is your Daddy home?” the boss quickly asked. “Yes”, whispered the small…

I’d had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed-time finally came, I laid down the law: “We’re putting on your p.j.s, brushing your teeth, and reading ONE book. Then it’s lights out!” Her arms went around my neck in a gentle embrace, and she said, “We learned in Sunday school about little boys…

When Little Johnny got his exam paper back, he saw a big red F staring back at him. Billy looked at his glum friend and asked, “Why did you get such a low mark on that test?” “Because of absence,” Johnny answered. “You mean you were absent on the day of the test?” Billy inquired.…

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, “Great…he’s 4 and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun – I’ll just let him ask, and…

The teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account. “The bank returned the check you wrote to the sporting goods store,” his mother said. “Oh good,” he replied, “Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!”

TEACHER: Why are you late? L-JOHNY: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? L-JOHNY: “School Ahead, Go Slow.” TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? L-JOHNY: “HIJKLMNO”!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? L-JOHNY: Yesterday you only said it’s H to O!!!! TEACHER: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but…