children

Little Tommy ran to his dad and said “Daddy, daddy! Watch me count.” Tommy holds up his right hand, and, touching each finger, counts to five. “One, two, three, four, five.” “Good!” his dad exclaimed. “Can you count higher?” Tommy pauses to think for a minute, then stretches his hand higher up in the air,…

Two little boys were looking for a way to cool off on a hot summer day. Their dad wouldn’t let them play in the sprinkler because he was mowing the lawn, so the boys set out to find a way to get wet and cool without getting into trouble. They sat on the curb brainstorming…

A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother: Dear Grandmother, I’m sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday. With love, Mike

When my oldest child was about three years old, we took a trip to a local fast food restaurant. I wearing my new favorite article of clothing: a pair of bright pink, elastic waist pants that I’d bought the day before. Although they were a little big on me, I instantly fell I love with…

A dad to his son: If someone calls for me, tell him that I’m out. The son: And if he doesn’t call?

The class homework was to write about something unusual that had happened in the previous month. Little Johnny stood up to read his: “Daddy fell in the well last week,” he began. “Good heavens,” shrieked Mrs. Johnson, the teacher. “Is he all right now?” “He must be,” said Timmy. “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.”

Little Johnny’s mother took her 6-year-old son with her to the bank. They were in line behind a rather obese lady. As the mother patiently waited, Little Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, “Hey, Mom, she’s really fat.” The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother…

Two kids were bragging about the toys they owned. One of them said, “This is Action Man! He’s been in Viet Nam, Operation Desert Storm, Iraq – and the vacuum cleaner twice!”

A father asked his son: “Why do you take the medicine before it’s time? ” The son answered:” To surprise the germs! “

Teacher: If you stood with your back to the north and faced due south, what would be on your left hand? Lisa: Fingers

Dad: Courtney, do you want penne pasta for dinner? Courtney: No, but I’ll have dime or quarter pasta.

I wish my name was Gary Boone! Do you wanna know why? Because, then, my name could be goon… you see, because you take the “G” from Gary and the “oone” from Boone to get Goon! But, you know, that’s not the worst nickname. The person that does have the worst nickname is my friend,…