children

There once was a small jokester called Joey, who was visting at his Grandpa’s. Now Grandpa was rather short of temper, so after Joey had been standing in the doorway for 5 minutes, trying to decide whether or not to go outside, he said, ”Hurry up, now will you?” Joey turned around and frowned. ”Keep…

What did you learn in school today? Not enough, apparently. I have to go back tomorrow!

(I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.) Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!” Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?” Boy: “Yeah! Yeah…

The teacher told her students they would start their day with the Pledge of Allegiance, instructing them to place their right hand over their heart and repeat after her. As she began to recite the Pledge, she looked around the room and noticed that Little Johnny hand his hand over the right cheek of his…

After class ends a 1st grader goes up to his teacher and says, “I don’t mean to scare you Teacher but my parents said that if I keep getting bad grades, then…” “Somejoke’s gonna get a spanking.” (nodnod)

A little boy was in a bookstore with his dad. They were browsing for books when the little kid said,”You know American Idol?” His dad said, “Yeah.” The kid then said, “If they win, they’ll become poptarts!”

It was the first day of school for little Jimmy. The teacher asked him, “What’s 1+1?” Jimmy replied, “3”. The teacher said, “You go back home and ask your family what the answer is.” So, little Jimmy goes back home. He asks his father, who was having a conversation with his friend, “Daddy, what’s 1+1?”…

Who’s Bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby? His baby cause he is a little Bigger.

Jacky walked into his house from school crying; his mom saw him and said, “What’s wrong, Jacky?” Jacky replied, “I lost a quarter at school!” “There, there,” replied his mother, “here’s another,” handing him a quarter. Jacky cries even louder; this time his mother, upset, says, “What’s the matter now?” Jacky says, “I wish I…

Mom: Jimmy, did you pick up your room yet? JImmy: No mom, it’s too heavy.

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Liberal Democrats too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat is, but wanting to be like their teacher, they all raise their hands. There is, however, one exception. A girl…

The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.”