children

One evening, a little boy and his family were having supper at his grandma’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When he received his plate, the little guy began eating right away. “Wait until we a say a prayer,” his mother admonished. ” I don’t have to,” he…

Bill and Bob were mischievous brothers. They always picked fights with each other. One day, their mother told them to go outside and play, but to remember to be good. Suddenly, Bob came running back in and said, “Mommy! Mommy! Bill broke Ms. Allen’s window!” Ms. Allen was their next door neighbor. Their mom was…

HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE? “When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don’t get up for at least an hour.” Wendy, age 8. “Mooshy…like puppy dogs…except puppy dogs don’t wag their tails nearly as much.” Arnold, age 10. “All of a sudden, the people get movies…

A boy and his mom were playing the new game of life were you could put your house were you wanted it. The boy put it on the left side. On his next turn he moved it onto the right side. The mom asked why he did that and he said, “I wanted to live…

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, “How was I born?” “Well honey…” said the slightly prudish parent, “the stork brought you to us.” “Oh,” said the boy. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked. “Oh, the stork brought us too.” “Well how were grandpa and grandma…

Teacher: Billy, tell me the periodic for water. Billy:Okay. H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What makes you say that? Billy: You said it was H to O.

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it,…

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. “Can I touch it?” “No way — you already broke yours off!”

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time, so she decided to get his attention. “Johnny,” she said, “if the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?” Johnny answered, “Thirty-four.” The teacher replied, “Well, that’s not far from my age. Tell me…

Teacher: “Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?” Johnny: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “bark, Johnny, bark.” Johnny: “Bow, wow, wow!”

Little Johnny asks his teacher: “How are the babies made?” Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents. When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, “Oh! that is a long story, you better…

Mother decided that 7-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill out the application.” Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name…