children

Teacher: Billy, tell me the periodic for water. Billy:Okay. H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What makes you say that? Billy: You said it was H to O.

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market. The owner didn’t know what Johnny’s problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him. They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. To prove it,…

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. “Can I touch it?” “No way — you already broke yours off!”

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time, so she decided to get his attention. “Johnny,” she said, “if the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?” Johnny answered, “Thirty-four.” The teacher replied, “Well, that’s not far from my age. Tell me…

Teacher: “Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?” Johnny: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “bark, Johnny, bark.” Johnny: “Bow, wow, wow!”

Little Johnny asks his teacher: “How are the babies made?” Teacher, not wanting to take the responsibility of explaining such a sensitive subject, suggests that he go home and ask his parents. When he gets home, Johnny approaches his father with the same question. His father replies, “Oh! that is a long story, you better…

Mother decided that 7-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill out the application.” Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name…

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Momma,…

Once, a teacher was showing a child a picture of a firefighter taking a child out of a burning building. The teacher asked what that was. The child replied,”A pregnant firefighter.” Instead of scolding him, she calmly asked,”Do you know what pregnant means?” The little boy just said, “Yes, it means to be carrying a…

Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you copying the test from your friend. Student: I hope you didn’t either

Phillip’s teacher asks him, “Can you name the Great Lakes?” Phillip, always fast with an answer, pipes up with, “I don’t need to. They’ve already been named.”

Little Johnny: Hey dad, are bugs good to eat? Dad: Son, let’s not talk about that at the dinner table, okay? Little Johnny and his dad were talking after dinner… Dad: So what did you want to say about bugs? Little Johnny: Oh, nothing. There was one in your soup, but it’s gone now!