children

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says “you don’t know Jack Schitt”. Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt…

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not! Boy: Good cause I didn’t do my homework!

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth”. The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by…

The following is based off a true story. In my high school english class our english teacher Ms. Simoff had given us homework to do and if we didn’t do it we wouldn’t be allowed to watch a movie. The next day my friend Jason came in and told the teacher that he did not…

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there’s a tornado. Reagan, 10 Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your…

One night, a mother was walking past her young daughter’s room when she saw the little girl kneeling by her bed, head bowed, hands folded, reciting the alphabet. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” the mother asked. “I’m saying my prayers, Mommy,” replied the little girl, “but I couldn’t think of what I wanted to say,…

Mom (Reprimandingly): Julia! How many times must I tell you not to pull the cat’s tail? Julia (Innocently): But Mom, I’m only holding the tail. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.

A teacher asks a first grader a simple math question. TEACHER:” If you had 50 cents in one pocket, and you asked you dad for another 50 cents, how much would you have?” STUDENT:”50 cents.” TEACHER: “You obviously don’t know how to add.” STUDENT: “You obviously don’t know my dad!”

Willie was quite a boy to have round the house. Willie, at a passing gent, Threw a batch of fresh cement, Crying, “Wait until you dry. Then you’ll be a real hard guy.” ***** Little Willie, home from school, Where he’d learned the Golden Rule, Said, “If I eat all this cake, Sis won’t have…

Little Johnny Clever was in Mrs. Gleason’s 3rd grade class for just a couple of weeks when he ran home to his mom and showed her a little 3×3 piece of paper. It had the word “Homework” crossed out in a circle with a slash (the very same you see with no smoking signs) “What…

One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it. “Miss lunch lady,” she said at the end of the line, “I don’t like the holes in my cheese.” “That’s okay,” she said. “Just eat around them and leave them…

A little girl is helping her mommy with the dishes when she notices that some of her hairs are gray. She asks her mom, “Why are some of your hairs gray?” The mom replies cleverly, “Whenever you make me cry or lie to me, one of my hairs turn gray.” The girl thinks for a…