children

Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as…

What did the mama broom say to the little broom? Go to sweep little one.

Sean: I’ve finally cleared my mind! Dean: Does your new one work?

A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” replied the little girl, shyly. “Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie,” the woman said. Her daughter took a deep…

Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the school yard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are. The first one said: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!” The second one said: “Ha!…

This is a true story told to me. A big city news anchor is driving along the freeway when his young son asks him, “Daddy, what does motherf____r mean?” He turns to his son, “That’s a really bad word, don’t ever say that again. Where did you learn that?!?!?” His son answers innocently, “Well, that’s…

A little boy put on his baseball uniform and went outside to play, chanting “I’m the best baseball hitter in the world!” He throws the ball in the air, swings and misses. Strike one! He adjusts his hat and says, “I’m the best baseball hitter in the world!” He throws the ball in the air,…

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, “There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.” “How did you know?” his mother asked. Daddy picked them up and looked underneath, he replied, “I think it’s printed on the bottom.”

There was a child who came back from school one day with loads of cuts and bruises and his bike broken. The concerned mother asked him what had happened. So, the child says “Well, when the fridge landed on me…”

A little boy is adopted from Korea and is flown to the USA to meet his new parents. A few years later the parents decide to adopt again on the way to the airport the little boy sees planes coming in to land. He says to his mother, “Look at all the babies being born.”…

Dad, have you got a ladder? Yes; why? I have to write an essay on an elephant!

A schoolteacher is leading her students through a park, and they see a baby hare. These are city kids, and have never seen a hare. “Do you know who this is?” asks the teacher. No one knows. “Come on kids”, says the teacher trying to lead the children to the answer, “He’s a character in…