children

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?” “No, I don’t,” said the little boy. “OK, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing…

Billy: i know a person who is 35 and still in 4th grade! Eddie: Really! who? Billy: My teacher!

Four-year-old Robert tells his kindergarten teacher that he has a new baby brother, called Spot. “Spot?” says the teacher. “Are you sure it’s not a puppy your Dad bought you?” Robert was adamant that his brother’s name was Spot – until next morning, when he issued a correction. “Actually, it’s Mark.”

The following are all quotes from an 11 year old student’s science exams: Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire. H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. To collect fumes…

Little Johnny was on a plane when the stranger in the next seat said, “Let’s talk. Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers.” Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, “What would you like to discuss?” The stranger said, “How…

1. During recess time, I like skipping rope. When I skip I shout a rhyme, And jump with all my hope. 2. I didn’t study for the test even though I should’ve. I was playing PS2 and I would’ve, so I copied off of yours, I got them all wrong, so now I sing this…

An old preacher was just getting out of church and was driving home through his neighborhood. As he was turning the corner of one of the major streets in his neighborhood, he noticed 3 boys playing dice on the sidewalk, and betting money along with it. The old preacher thinks to himself how awful the…

Science Teacher: Now, now class settle down. Today we will be learning about Biology. Girl: Oh boy! An entire unit about buying! I’ve bought a lot of things like earrings, and rings, and necklaces, and bracelets… Math Teacher: Okay class. Today we will be learning about subtraction. Boy: Hooray! I know everything there is to…

It was this little girl’s first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, “Happy Butt.” The teacher said, “Honey I don’t think that’s your name you need to go to the principal’s office and get this straightened out.” So she went to the principal’s office and he…

Music student: We played the beatles last night! Gym student:who won?

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded…

Jacob, a three year old boy, is excited about the birth of his little sister, Olivia. One morning, Jacob’s mom is giving Olivia a bath, when Jacob asks “Mom, where’s her pp?” The mom explains that boys have pp’s and girls don’t. Just to make sure he understands, she brings out a magazine, and points…