children

It was recess and the pre-schoolers came in. The teacher asked Susie what she did today. ”Well, I played in the sandbox,” she said. The teacher said, ”If you can spell sand, I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.” So Susie did. Then Billy came in and the teacher asked what he did. ”I played in…

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?” As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he’s on her level, and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy…

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids… “WOW,” the social worker exclaims, “Are they ALL YOURS???” “Yep they are all mine,” the flustered mumma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, “Sit down Leroy. All the children rush to find seats. “Well,” says the social worker,…

A teacher is explaining Biology to her 4th grade students, “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she says. A little girl raises her hand, “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,” she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. “Well,” she began,…

Little Johnny’s mum was sitting in front of computer while Johnny was making sandwiches. She said to Johhny, “You’re the best sandwich maker ever,” and Johnny says “No mum, you’re just lazy.” hahahahahahahahahahaha

Little Johnny was running away from home, crying his eyes out, when he ran across a policeman. “Where are you going, Little Johnny?” asked the cop. “I’m running away from home,” sobbed Little Johnny. The cop asked him, “Why would you want to do something like that?” “My mommy and daddy don’t love me any…

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a quiet smoke. Jack returned with lung cancer and Jill a fatal stroke.

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen, she lay in eager anticipation the lovely breakfast her helpful, caring children were making for her. However, after a good long wait, she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both…

A policeman caught a nasty little boy, with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. “Now listen here,” the policeman said. “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature, I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it on the forehead and let it go”

Little Nancy was in the backyard filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the girl was up to he asks, “What are you up to there Nancy?” “My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbour was concerned, “That’s an awfully…

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter: Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moooo!” Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” The wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, Child: “Bud.”

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!” Ms Brooks had enough.…