children

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said “Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I’ll be across the field.” A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son asking “What’s wrong? I told you to be quiet.” The son answered, “Look,…

Aron: Throw all of your fish in the air. Jake: Why? Aron: So I can tell my mom I honestly caught them.

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.” Her mother told her this was wrong; she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.” The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?” She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. “There’s a…

This is a list of what I have learned so far in my life: 1.) Always smile. It makes adults wonder what you’re up to. 2.) Golf is no longer a rich man’s sport. There are millions of poor players. 3.) If at first you DO succeed, try to hide your astonishment. 4.) It takes…

Teacher: Larry, name two pronouns. Larry: Who, Me? Teacher: That answer is correct.

Girl: “Have you ever been caught been wearing your mother’s bra? Boy: “No!” Girl: “So you have worn them but not been caught?”

Five year old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn’t home, because he was performing an appendectomy. “My,” said the census taker, “that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?”…

Dear Santa, You must be suprised that I’m writing to you on the 26th of December. I would like you to remember that I asked for a pair of rollar blades, a bicycle, an electric train, and a football uniform. I destroyed my brain studying this whole year. Not only was I the first class,…

Sam Krypton was a boy who hated meatloaf, but he knew that every time he didn’t eat it, he lost a chance for ice cream, his favorite thing to eat. So today, he decided to eat it, and try and forget about the taste. He ate it up, and said, “THIS MEATLOAF WAS DELICIOUS!” His…

A Duke is hunting in a forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he comes upon a tree. Archery targets are painted all over it, and smack in the middle of each is an arrow. “Who is this incredibly fine archer?” cries the Duke. “I must find him.” After continuing through the forest for a…

Once upon a time, there was a small family, with a little boy named Harry. They had just moved into a new home. It was tall, creaky, and just the place you would expect to be haunted. But, Harry did not believe in ghosts, or mummies, or witches or any of that stuff. One day,…