children

Josh was never the most gifted child, but for this he couldn’t really be blamed. His mother, Maria, was no better than him. However, the singular talent that he possessed was an odd one: He could memorize everything he ate. His mother didn’t see this as satisfactory, but she decided to put his talent to…

A teacher came into a class and told the students, “Class we have a new student……….go on tell us your name”. The boy replied “I’m-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I’ll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree”. The teacher said, “What!!!!”. The boy repeated “I’m-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I’ll-kick-your-ass-from-tree-to-tree”. The teacher said, “Go to the principal’s office”. When he got there, the principal said, “Whats your name son?” “I’m-a-bad-boy-from-tennesse-I’ll-kick-ur-ass-from-tree-to-tree,” the boy…

Dear God, If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. – Denise Dear God, You don’t have to worry about me. I always look both ways. – Dean Dear God, I think about You sometimes even when I’m not praying. – Elliot Dear God, Of all…

Billy-Bob returns from school and tells his father he got an “F” in Arithmetic today. “Why?” asks his father. “The teacher asked, ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ I said, ‘6’”. “But that’s right,” said his father. “Then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’.” “What’s the fucking difference?” asks his father. “That’s…

Jr: This year I failed every class except biology. Mary: How did you do that? Jr: Easy, I didn’t take biology

Teacher: Billy why are you late? Billy: Because the sign said “Children Slow”

little susie was looking through her mothers purse and found a tampon and said what is this ? her mother said a pen. so later on that day he mother went shopping and an elderly man said miss do you have a pen and so little susie said it’s in mommy’s bagina !!!! so the…

The following are messages written by children to God, Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane Dear GOD, Who draws…

These two poor kids go to a birthday party at a rich kid’s house. The kid is so rich that he has his own swimming pool, and all the kids go in. As they’re changing afterwards, one of the poor kids says to the other one, “Did you notice how small the rich kid’s penises…

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head & stormed into their room, putting them back to bed…

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small…

A detective was questioning a burglary suspect. “Where were you between five and six?” he asked. “In kindergarten!” he replied