children

Baby Brother Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, “Where’d we get him?” His mother says, “Heaven, Johnny.” Johnny says, “Geez, I can see why they threw him out.”

Why did the boy buy a new bum? Coz his had a crack in it.

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, “Mommy, I got five dollars!” The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. The little girl replied, “Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheels while he sat in the tree.” The mother…

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.” The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured…

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed, and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him…

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake

A little boy was overheard praying: “Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am.”

Teacher: Vincent, not to be presumptuous, but your short story is truly fantastic. Did you really write it? Vincent: Yes, I wrote, while my mother dictated…

A child custody case was held in court. The judge felt that the mother and father were both fit to be parents and therefore couldn’t decide who he should grant full custody to. So he asks the little boy, “Would you like to live with your mother?” “No,” said the boy. “Why not?” said the…

A little boy had just got home from Sunday School and mom was cooking lunch. “Mommy, is it true that before you’re born you’re just dust and after you die you go back to being dust?” “That’s right son, why?” “Well that’s just what they said at church today.” “Run up stairs and wash your…

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.

Steve is playing with his 3 friends at his tree in the back garden, and his mum comes out and shouts, “If all four of you fall out of that tree and break both legs, then don’t come running to me!”