college

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really $well. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. I have $o much $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need. $o if you like, $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love Your $on Dear Son, I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmy, and…

Dear son, Good luck with your exams tomorrow. I always think that it’s best to stay up partying all of the night before an exam. Exam rooms are always a good place to catch up on sleep, because they’re silent, and there’s nothing to do in them anyway. Love, Dad

1. Your salary is less than your tuition. 2. Your potted plants stay alive. 3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd. 4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 5. You have to pay your own credit card bill. 6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal. 7. You…

A few weeks ago, my Health teacher set up a competition, saying the winning group would win an extra credit point. We were separated into five groups; water, electricity, food, paper, and gas. Each group had to come up with at least twenty ways to preserve their element. The group that came up with the…

Jan 3rd, 1995 I have long heard of the lives of the privileged classes, and now I have prepared myself to experience life as a member. Tomorrow, I will don the the uniform of the academic and re-enter society, NOT as I once was, a worker and pawn of the educated classes, but as a…

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon. Senior: Is never out of bed before noon. Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut. Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend. Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall. Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie…

What is sin x divided by n? Canceling the “n” yields six.

In a classroom, the teacher tell the pupils that peanuts make your smarter. Then a pupil said: “Are you nuts?”

-Overheard by a professor in the halls a few weeks after the semester starts- Male student to another male student- “Yeah, I signed up for a women’s studies course. It wasn’t what I expected it to be.” “Really? Why is that?” “Well, it involves all this reading about ancient goddesses, and about female empowerment. I…

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is the talking clock,” the man replied. “How’s it work?” “Watch,” the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear…

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this pointless information?” “To save lives,” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted.…

Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother. In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H’s as O’s. Clouds are high-flying fogs. Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not…