college

Teacher: The weather here is too bad. The winter is too cold, and the summer is too hot. Fortunately, I have an air condition in my room. Oh, do you have air condition in your dorm? Students: (laughing) No way. Teacher: At least you can use a fan, can’t you? Students: (upset) No way! The…

A student of proctology is in the morgue one day after classes, wanting to get a little practice in before the final exams.He goes over to a table where a joke is lying face down. He uncovers the sheet over the joke, and to his surprise he finds a cork in the corpse’s rectum. Figuring…

Teacher: Paul, what is the chemical formula of water? Paul: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O Teacher: What is this? Paul: Well, you said it is H2O! ——————————————————- Teacher : Mike, get up! How can you sleep in my class? Mike : I can Mr, if you keep your voice down. ———————————————————– Teacher : Where does God live? Little boy…

My college doesn’t allow pets in my dorm, so when I got a kitten I had the guys in my dorm refer to him as “the Book” to avoid suspicion. One morning, as I carried the kitten out to my car in a crate, my girlfriend stopped me and asked, “where are you taking the…

Every (Bad) Crowd Has A Silver Lining (When I was in college, I used to work in the cafeteria. On this day, two girls are making fun of a third.) Mean Girl #1: “Oooooh, a hamburger? So much for that diet.” Mean Girl #2: “Are you kidding? She’s never been on a diet in her…

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the history teacher that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the history teacher selects infinite wisdom. “Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and…

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her U.S. Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, “That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.”

A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. “I want to say that it’s been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you’ve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets…

Premise I: Knowledge is power. Premise II: Power corrupts. Conclusion: Therefore, knowledge corrupts.

Banta Singh got tired of being the butt of jokes, and decided to do his PhD. Banta was looking out for a unique subject to write his thesis when he saw a cockroach. Banta placed the cockroach on the table and cuts one of its leg. Then he said “Walk”. The cockroach moves forward. Then…

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that…

Students… Take Note: Knowledge is power … But power corrupts … And corruption is a crime … And crime doesn’t pay … So if you keep on studying you’ll go broke!