college

Dear Mr. Conners, Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and…

BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN! COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? Are you…

To find the inverse of a function, you reverse the process. To find the inverse of putting on your socks and shoes, how do you start? Socks first!

45 Fun Things to Do on a Paper You Don’t Care About 1. Type every word in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts. 2. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual. 3. Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over…

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couple of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a…

A Harvard English 101 class was asked to write a CONCISE essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The only “A+” in the class read: “My God,” said the Queen, “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”

To: Professor _______________ From: ____________________ I think my grade in your course, ___, should be changed from ___ to ___ for the following reasons: __1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. __2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. __3. This course…

A student comes to a young professor’s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. “I would do *anything* to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean…” she repeats, “…I would do…*anything*.” He returns her gaze. “Anything?”…

Each simile listed below was actually used by high school students in their various essays and short stories: He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes…

1. All of you, stand in a straight circle. 2. I have two daughters, and both are girls! 3. Both the three of you get out of the class. 4. I saw you with my wife…..in the theatre. 5. Open the windows let the Airforce come in. 6. Boys go to the right, girls to…

Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by a Canadian history professor (Anders Henrickson) over the years. After the refirmation were wars both foreign and infernal. If the Spanish could gain the Netherlands they would have a stronghold throughout northern Europe which would include their posetions in Italy, Burgundy, central Europe and India…

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen. “Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer.” One student replied: “You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the…