college

1 Good Grades 2 Social life 3 Adequate Sleep. Pick Two Welcome to College…

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he arrived at classroom, he saw ten rods with platforms with ten birds on them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat straight in the front row because he…

For fainting: rub the person’s chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth. For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it. For nosebleed: put the nose…

A college student walks down the road when he sees a beggar on the side of the street. College Student (C) : Hey mister! whatsup! Beggar (B) : Yea how you doin’… C: So, how long have you’ve been a beggar? B: It’s about eight years now kid.. C: WOW! Thats long time.. how much…

In my college dorm we had one of those irritating type guys who was born with more money than most of us could ever dream of earning, and naturally we resented his Porsche, his boat, and the women who hung all over same. The guy went out of his way to remind us all about…

Mr. Smith: “So, Mr. Jones, how’s your son John?” Mr. Jones: “He’s at Harvard right now.” Mr. Smith: “Oh, really?! Well, congratulations! What’s he studying?” Mr. Jones: “Oh, he’s not studying anything. They’re studying him.”

The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day…

A college student at a recent college football game challenged a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand this: “You grew up in a different world,” the student said, loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has…

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. Mom said, ‘Sure, sweetie. I’ll send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?’ ‘Uh, oh yeah,…

At the beginning of term, we were supposed to portray what we learned during holidays by acting in a play for the school. Here I was known as the best actress in class so I was given the role of a secondary student who goes out with a rich man’s reckless son. During the rehearsals,…

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that…

Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to an interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, “What is three times seven?” “22,” Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked the problem on his calculator (he KNEW he should have taken it…