college

Student was searching for divine inspiration. Student walked high on the mountain of knowledge and came across God. Student asked God how to live life as a college kid should. And God said unto him, follow these Ten Commandments and you shall be all a college kid is. And Student thanked God and it was…

That’s right, in just six trimesters, you, too, can be a real man – as well as earn an MA degree (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline. FIRST YEAR Autumn Schedule: MEN 101 Combating Stupidity MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework MEN 103 PMS – Learn When to…

Texan: “Where are you from?” Harvard graduate: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.” Texan: “OK, where are you from, Jackass?”

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a very large, empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, approximately two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full and they agreed that it was.…

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk; He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying. He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break; He restoreth my faith in study guides. He leads me to better study habits For my grades sake. Yea, though I walk through the…

Gary: I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test. Teacher: I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.

There once was a college professor who didn’t buy into the whole “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” philosophy. Every year when he had a new class he instructed the students to ask him as many stupid questions as they could think of on the first day. That way, he figured, there’d be…

Teacher to student: “I just read the composition on ‘My House’ that you had submitted.” Student: “Yes, is there anything wrong?” Teacher: “No. It was excellent. It was exactly the same composition that your older brother submitted last year.” Student: “Well…we live in the same house…”

I thought up ALL OF THEESE. I am NOT duplicating anyone (except for 15 and 14, from the American ‘Whose Line is it anyway?’) So if you want a good “Fun things” and you don’t want to keep seeing duplicates, read on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1.When the math teacher asks you a question, purposely answer incorrectly. Persist.…

If 1/(x-8) approaches ∞ as x approaches 8 from above, then will 1/(x-3) approach ω as x approaches 3 from above?

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways: Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte. Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Prof. of Physics: A kiss…

An Engineering Major says “How does it work?” A Science Major says “Why does it work?” An Accounting Major says “How much will it cost?” A Liberal Arts Major says “Do you want fries with that?”