college

Gary: I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test. Teacher: I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.

There once was a college professor who didn’t buy into the whole “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” philosophy. Every year when he had a new class he instructed the students to ask him as many stupid questions as they could think of on the first day. That way, he figured, there’d be…

Teacher to student: “I just read the composition on ‘My House’ that you had submitted.” Student: “Yes, is there anything wrong?” Teacher: “No. It was excellent. It was exactly the same composition that your older brother submitted last year.” Student: “Well…we live in the same house…”

I thought up ALL OF THEESE. I am NOT duplicating anyone (except for 15 and 14, from the American ‘Whose Line is it anyway?’) So if you want a good “Fun things” and you don’t want to keep seeing duplicates, read on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1.When the math teacher asks you a question, purposely answer incorrectly. Persist.…

If 1/(x-8) approaches ∞ as x approaches 8 from above, then will 1/(x-3) approach ω as x approaches 3 from above?

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways: Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte. Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Prof. of Physics: A kiss…

An Engineering Major says “How does it work?” A Science Major says “Why does it work?” An Accounting Major says “How much will it cost?” A Liberal Arts Major says “Do you want fries with that?”

That I would never watch the news, and I would be totally out of touch with the world happenings. That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up. That I could change so much and barely realize it. That college kids throw airplanes too. That you can know everything and…

“What’s the usual tip?” a man growled when, Brett, a college boy delivered his pizza. “Well,” Brett continued, “this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great.” “Is that so?” grunted the man. “In that case, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” Brett…

What’s the integral of 1/cabin? A natural log cabin. No, a houseboat – you forgot to add the c!

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.

Once, a barber found two MIT students wanting to buy his barber pole. They offered a good price for it, so the barber sold it to them. So – these two guys drove around all day in a pickup truck carrying the barber pole. They kept getting stopped by the police, who were sure they…