gross

A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!”…

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE, the cat did a piddle, all over the bedside clock, The little dog laughed to see such fun then died of electric shock.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour petrol on him and set him on fire, and he’ll go “WOOF”!

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an octopus? I don’t know, but it sure can pick tomatoes! What’s black, has white eyes and knocks on glass? A black in a microwave. Why don’t blacks like blow jobs? They don’t like any job. What do you call two Vietnamese in a TransAm?…

A man was walking through the desert, when he found a woman buried up to her neck. The woman asks him to dig her out, and he says, “What’s in it for me?” She replies, “Sand.”

I went to a money-making seminar. This man had so much bling he sparkled. I could tell he knew how to make money. He was telling the story of how he worked his way up the corporate ladder from a lowly mail boy, to cubicle, to corner office, to the president of his own very…

one day boodler is walking down the street minding his own (porn) business when suddenly a shady figure drags him into the alley. the huge man rapes poor boodler with his freakishly large 20 inch cock. boodler squeals like a pig. no one comes to help or look as the town is familiar with the…

Why don’t witches wear panties? To get a better grip on their broom.

If your uncle Jack was stuck on a roof, would you help your uncle Jack off?

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: ————————————— | Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 | | Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 | | Hand Job: $10.00 | ————————————— Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive…

Bob and Bo are hunting. Bob had a sever case of diarrhea so he decided to stay and rest up. Bo goes out and kills a big deer and guts it. He then thinks it would be funny if he laid the deers guts in Bob’s sleeping bag so he does and goes to sleep.…

Now I haven’t known you very long and I shouldn’t be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven’t had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no…