gross

*******before you read this I want you all to know this is a real letter written to an airline company by a passanger who rode in the plane*********** Dear Continental Airlines, I am disgusted as I write this note to you about the miserable experience I am having sitting in seat 29E on one of…

What’s brown and has holes in it? Swiss shit!

There were two guys at a bar. One of them was rich and the other was poor. They both start talking and they find out their anniversary is on the same day, which is tomorrow. Poor guy- “What did you get your wife?” Rich Guy- “I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes Benz.”…

Husband and wife are doing the spring house cleaning. Wife asks husband to hang some new curtain rods, but he can’t do it without toggle bolts. He sends her to the hardware store where she asks the man behind the counter for two toggle bolts. He puts them on the counter, then asks, “You wanna…

what did one gay say to the other when they broke up? ”YOU’RE SUCH A PAIN IN THE A*S”

An American, wearing Bermuda shorts, T-shirt, and a baseball cap, walks into a café, chewing on gum. He sits next to this French guy who is trying to enjoy his breakfast and is not in the mood for small talk. The American, aware of the Frenchman’s mood, tries to be smart. He sees the man…

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s…

A poor homeless man had 3 bananas; he had stolen one from a first grader, one from a fruit vendor, and the other was given to him by a humble old lady. Along with the banana, the humble old lady gave him bus fare, partly because she wanted him to leave, and partly because she…

Daddy: Get the Nuts son Bobby: Yes Dad Daddy: Ouch!

Two older women were picking up a third friend for their weekly lunch when they accidentally ran over and killed her cat. It wasn’t a pretty sight, so rather than leave it for the woman’s husband to find, they scooped it into a Foley’s bag and took it with them, intending to throw it away…

A guy goes to his doctor and says, “Doc, I have a problem.” “My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday.” “I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all.” The doctor says, “You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a…

One day Little Susie got her “monthly bleeding” for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little Johnny. Having found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was. Johnny’s face grew serious and he said,…