gross

What’s grosser than gross? When you find a used tampon in your ketchup bottle.

Birdie Birdie in the sky, Dropped some white stuff in my eye. I’m a big girl, I won’t cry. I’m just glad that cows don’t fly!

2 men were out camping. At about 3:00 one man had to go to the bathroom. There were no toilets around and the men had no toilet paper! The man took a crap in the forest, but then had noting to wipe his butt with. He asked his friend what to do, and his friends…

Once there was a girl named Maria having her 13th birthday. She had three of her closest friends over. Their names were Jessica, Sarah and Amy. Amy told Maria that she heard weird sounds coming from the closet and she thought there was a ghost in it, but Maria didn’t believe her. Next, Sarah told…

Twinkle, twinkle little star how I wonder what you are Shine upon a parking lot As I eat my girlfriends twat. Peter, Peter pumpkin eater Saw a chick but couldn’t meet her Saw her brother one fine day Sucked his cock and now he’s GAY. Jack Sprat could eat no fat His wife could eat…

What do you call a nun’s urine? Virgin Lemonade

You can pick your friends, You can pick your nose; But you cant pick your friends nose…. What true words….!

Have you heard the joke about the blind gynecologist? She could “read lips.”

Would you like some chocolate ice cream and lemonade? Yes? Ok! *shits* chocolate ice cream and *pisses* lemonade!that would be $5.00

There once was a women who bought a new house but didn’t know what to name it. So she stuck her head out the window and heard Hairy Butt! So she decided to name the house Hairy Butt. Then sometime later she had a baby boy but didn’t know what to name it, so she…

An elderly couple (BATTERY AND BOODLER) was attending mass. About halfway through, BOODLER leans over and says to BATTERY, “I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?” BATTERY replied, “That was sexy. Put a new battery in your vibrator; then let’s go home and fuck our brains out.”

Two turds were sitting beside each other in a toilet, when one looks to the other and says, “man, you smell like shit”.