gross

  • Mathematician

    What do Constipated Mathematicians do? Work it out with a pencil.

  • The Haunted Hotel Room

    Once there were three teenagers, two boys and one girl. The teenagers wanted to stay in a hotel, so they drove to the nearest one. The hotel owner said, “We only have one more free room, but it is the haunted one.” The teenagers didn’t care, so they said they’d take it anyway. “It’s on…

  • Ways To Annoy Bathroom Friends

    1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ”May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. ”Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somejoke breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. ”Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 5. ”Damn, this…

  • Enough Sex

    How do you know when you’ve had enough sex? When you die from AIDS!

  • No Chance Pick Up Lines

    Did you fart….Because you are blowing me away!!! My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z. Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours? Hey baby, have you fallen from heaven, because that would explain your face.. Can i buy you a drink? Because you look like an alcoholic. Do you believe in…

  • Captain Hook

    What’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

  • Knights

    Back in the days of old, Before condoms were invented, Knights wrapped socks Around their cocks, And babies were prevented.

  • Going On A Date

    “Emily, I don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alan in accounting asked me out for Saturday night. Should I go?” “Oh, my gosh,” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, dine you, and then use any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he’ll rip off…

  • Worst Age

    “Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60 year-old man. “You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing happens.” “Ah, that’s nothin,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on…

  • Haunted Hotel Room 2

    A man walks into a hotel and asks for a room. The guy behind the counter tells him that there is one room left but it is haunted. The man gets the room anyway. That night he hears in a soft voice “If the log rolls over we`ll all die!” He runs away. The next…

  • Grandma’s Shrimps

    One day little Billy went screaming to his mom, “Mommy! Mommy! Theres a shrimp stuck between grandma’s legs!” His mother, intruiged by this, brought Billy to grandma, who was sleeping on the bed with her legs apart. The mother looked and laughed and said, “Why, that’s not a shrimp! That’s her privates, a vagina!” Billy…

  • German Poo

    How do you say constipated in German? farfrompoopin