gross

Q: What’s funnier than a dead baby? A: A dead baby in a clown costume! Q: What’s the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? A: When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off! Q: What’s blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A: A baby with a punctured…

One drunk to another: “Have you ever been so drunk you’d kiss a woman’s stomach?” Second drunk: “I’ve been drunker than that!”

Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, “I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replied, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to…

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There’s a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her. “Ma’am, there are $20…

Once upon a time, there was an elderly couple. Next door, there lived a Peeping Tom. One day, the couple received a phone call. The woman said, “Fred! Peeping Tom tells us to shut the blinds or he’ll call the police!”

3 people were asked to find the “hardest” word in the dictionary. One person found the word “happiness”. One person found the word”photosynthesis”. The last person found the word “dick”.

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.…

IBM and IBC combine to create the perfect computer for financial management. Here’s the headline on the weekly paper. IBM: Do You?

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue?.. and then you add eggs and sugar… and you get cake? Where did the glue go ? NEED AN ANSWER? You know darned well where it went! That’s what makes the cake Stick to your BUTT Now that you’ve smiled at least once,…

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client…

Ghost Poopie The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels…

A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, “Sir, I’m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of…