gross

Which comes first, Ben-Gay or Preparation H? Ben-Gay. After you have been gay, you’ll need the Preparation H.

During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine. In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.) Remote controls in hotels are the worst! (Always carry your Lysol spray!) An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain…

When the whole class had left the little boy said, “Teacher, give me an A+ on my math test.” The teacher then says “No.” Then the boy said, “Give me an A, or I’ll tell my mom, who will tell my dad, who will tell the principal, and you will get fired. So the teacher…

What is the square root of 69? Ate something (8….)

I once knew a boy who was dating his left hand and having an affair with his right.

What’s the differance between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The Taste…

What do Constipated Mathematicians do? Work it out with a pencil.

Once there were three teenagers, two boys and one girl. The teenagers wanted to stay in a hotel, so they drove to the nearest one. The hotel owner said, “We only have one more free room, but it is the haunted one.” The teenagers didn’t care, so they said they’d take it anyway. “It’s on…

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ”May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. ”Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somejoke breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. ”Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 5. ”Damn, this…

How do you know when you’ve had enough sex? When you die from AIDS!

Did you fart….Because you are blowing me away!!! My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z. Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours? Hey baby, have you fallen from heaven, because that would explain your face.. Can i buy you a drink? Because you look like an alcoholic. Do you believe in…

What’s worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook.