insults

What do you call an Italian Cop? Guinea Pig

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You’re so fat you turn the world upside down!

A black man dies on Halloween; he is sent to purgatory for a year. On the next Halloween, the man sees angels and God. He asked God if he is going to get wings and become an angel. God says, “No nigga, you are going to be a bat.”

What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? He breaks his nose.

You’re so stupid you thought “harass” was two words!

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. Pardon me, but you’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in? I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? If ignorance is bliss, you must…

You’re so fat Richard Simmons laughs at you.

The Russian wrestling team and American wrestling team are having a 5-on-5 exhibition match. Both teams are down to their final wrestlers, tied at two wins apiece. The remaining American wrestler is 5’10”, 175lbs., and his Russian counterpart is 6’7″, 300lbs and all muscle. The American coach sends his wrestler into the match with little…

You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she: Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate. Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his mind. Gets stabbed in a shoot-out. Sends a fax with a stamp on it. Was on the corner giving out potato…

Q. How do you know when you’re REALLY ugly? A. Your dog humps your leg with his eyes closed

This joke may seem racist to some. I just wanted to warn you of this before you read it. Sally – Where does a baby go after he or she has passed away? Joe – I don’t know. Sally – To heaven. What does the baby get after he or she arrives in heaven? Joe…