insults

why did hitler kill himself? because he saw his gas bill

There was a boy who never, ever lied. He always told people the truth and/or his opinion. Like when he broke a glass vase, he said that he broke it. He was rewarded a few days later for telling the truth, even though he was grounded. One day a lady asked him, “What do you…

Four girls were playing a game of tag. All of them had really long names that were hard to say, so one person thought of the idea of giving themselves nicknames. One suggested thinking of funny names, so the really tall girl was named ‘Shorty’. The really thin girl was named ‘fatty’. The next girl…

I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

A black female is having trouble with her menses. She goes to the gynecologist and he asks: “Mrs. Williams, what kind of flow do you have?” “Linoleum” she replies.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa only has three Ho’s.

I would punch you but I couldn’t make you any uglier.

If you were any more pointless, you would be a circle.

Why did the Japanese steal the Diaoyu Islands? Because they don’t have enough room for their funny farms!

– You’re so stupid, you got locked inside a grocery store and starved to death! – You’re so big, you play pool with the planets! – You’re so fat, when you went outside in yellow clothes, someone screamed, “TAXI!” – You’re so big, when you go to the movies, you sit next to everyjoke! –…

You are so stupid you tripped over a cordless phone! You are so stupid you got locked in a furniture store and sat on the floor! You are so stupid you didn’t know how to swim so you got in the fish tank to try and learn!

If your IQ was any lower you would trip on it.