insults

If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If you don’t want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately. Is your name Laryngitis? You’re a pain in the neck. Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people’s hair.…

You’re about as useful as a bargain hunter in Sears!

In a slave market, an owner is showing his slaves for selling. A man come to the shop and pointing to an American slave and asked, “how much he is?”. The owner said, “$100”. And the man pioint to a Russian slave, asked again, and the owner reply, “$1000”. The man point to Japanese slave,…

You’re so ugly when you were born your parents named you “Shit Happens”

Your cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back!

Johnny comes back from school crying and says, “Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head.” His mother replies, “No you don’t Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings.”

Don’t let your mind wander. It’s too small to be out on its own.

Could you fax me your photo very very urgently? Mind you it’s really very very urgent, damn serious and very important ….. I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.

You have a face like a baby, with a brain to match. * Credited to my friend fqzeng.

You’re so dumb, you studied for a blood test!

You’re so ugly, you scare blind children.

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.