insults

SAY IT REALLY FAST SAY*PINK CHEESE GREEN GHOST* FAST IF UR A TRUE LATINO YOULL GET WAT THIS MEANS

Your phone’s network is changing plan. The uglier you are the cheaper your calls. From now on all your calls will be free.

Bernie has been ill for some months and then suddenly dies. As is the custom, his wife Sadie puts an advert in the ‘deaths’ section of the Chronicle, but this advert is slightly unusual – it states that Bernie died of gonorrhoea. Immediately, a close friend of Bernie rings Sadie to complain. “Sadie,” he says,…

Have you heard about the Jewish sport car? It stops on a dime, then picks it up

True Story: My aunt and her son were coming to our house to view an old slide show of London. Currently, my aunt has grey hair. In the slides she had black hair. My dad tells my cousin, “See, your mother doesn’t look old here.” He replies, “Well, you can also see when the Hampton…

Below are questions that people “actually asked” of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity. (Source: Outside Magazine) Grand Canyon National Park… Was this man-made? Do you light it up at night? I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom –…

100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?

Customer: “Are you Hispanic?” Me: “No.” Customer: “Middle Eastern?” Me: “No.” Customer: “Egyptian?” Me: “No.” Customer: “What are you?” Me: “Chinese.” (customer puts on offended face) Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.” Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.” Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!” Me:…

why are black people so good at basket ball? because they can Run, shoot and steal.

What is the difference between you and a ho? The ho is smarter.

Sometimes, I worry about you… But then i remember that my mom told me never to anthropomorphize.

As an insult you could say “You know, most of you weight comes from all that make-up your wearing!”