insults

  • Zero

    Don’t think of yourself as a zero, think of yourself as the number below one.

  • Italian Christmas

    Christmas Italian Style ‘Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella Not a creature was stirrin’, Cuz I had a gun unda my pilla. When up on da roof I heard somethin’ pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, “YO! Keep it down!” When what to my Wonderin’ eyes should appear, But…

  • From a TRUE Friend

    Aren’t you tired of those stupid, mushy greeting cards down at the card store? Here’s what a real friend would send to another… Dear friend, When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad… When you are blue, I will try to…

  • How Many Men Does…

    How many men does it take to find anything? Zero. They have to ask a woman 1st and then after she tells them exactly where it is for the umpteenth time & they still can’t find it….. The now exasperated woman goes & gets it for them in the exact place she has told them…

  • Jupiter

    What’s Hitlers least favorite planet? ‘Jewpiter’

  • Is That Dinner?

    There were cockroaches in the corner of a hotel when four people saw it and reacted differently. The hotel manager saw the cockroaches, and said “Can somejoke please clean these up? It’s ruining my hotel.” A customer saw it and said “Don’t the hotel facilities know how to maintain this hotel clean and free of…

  • Stupid: It’s Whats For Breakfast

    Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning?

  • Cow’s Tail

    What’s the difference between a Western necktie and a cow’s tail? The cow’s tail covers the whole asshole.

  • Working

    What’s the difference between a black man and a large pizza? ————– a large pizza can feed a family of four What do sperm and black men have in common? ————– only one in a million work!!

  • Most Romantic First Line…

    Need help coming up with that perfect ditty for your better (or worse) half? Perhaps these will help inspire you! –These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss but I only slept with you,…

  • Idiot!

    You’re so dumb, you staple in the middle of the paper!

  • Made Up Insults.

    I heard you tried to apply to work at a candy store. But they turned you down saying they already had enough air heads. Were you fat when you were born? Cause i think it all went straight to your head. Most people think outside the box. You still haven’t figured out how to get…