insults

Aren’t you tired of those stupid, mushy greeting cards down at the card store? Here’s what a real friend would send to another… Dear friend, When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad… When you are blue, I will try to…

How many men does it take to find anything? Zero. They have to ask a woman 1st and then after she tells them exactly where it is for the umpteenth time & they still can’t find it….. The now exasperated woman goes & gets it for them in the exact place she has told them…

What’s Hitlers least favorite planet? ‘Jewpiter’

There were cockroaches in the corner of a hotel when four people saw it and reacted differently. The hotel manager saw the cockroaches, and said “Can somejoke please clean these up? It’s ruining my hotel.” A customer saw it and said “Don’t the hotel facilities know how to maintain this hotel clean and free of…

Did you eat a bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning?

What’s the difference between a Western necktie and a cow’s tail? The cow’s tail covers the whole asshole.

What’s the difference between a black man and a large pizza? ————– a large pizza can feed a family of four What do sperm and black men have in common? ————– only one in a million work!!

Need help coming up with that perfect ditty for your better (or worse) half? Perhaps these will help inspire you! –These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss but I only slept with you,…

You’re so dumb, you staple in the middle of the paper!

I heard you tried to apply to work at a candy store. But they turned you down saying they already had enough air heads. Were you fat when you were born? Cause i think it all went straight to your head. Most people think outside the box. You still haven’t figured out how to get…

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old son, Johnny, and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” Little Johnny replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said. Little Johnny bowed his head and said, “Dear Lord,…

This is a insult I use on my brother’s girlfriend if she starts annoying me too much. She has a very tiny bridge in her nose that is only noticeable if you look close enough. Its fun to mess with her about it cause she is very self conscious about it. That bridge on your…