insults

You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she: Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate. Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his mind. Gets stabbed in a shoot-out. Sends a fax with a stamp on it. Was on the corner giving out potato…

Q. How do you know when you’re REALLY ugly? A. Your dog humps your leg with his eyes closed

This joke may seem racist to some. I just wanted to warn you of this before you read it. Sally – Where does a baby go after he or she has passed away? Joe – I don’t know. Sally – To heaven. What does the baby get after he or she arrives in heaven? Joe…

Bin Laden is sitting with his son and they are watching the Twin Towers collapse. His son asks him, “Dad, which film is this?” to which he replied, “Son, this isn’t a film, this is a series.”

You’re pretty… pretty ugly! You finally figured out how to screw in that lightbulb, but the power went out. You’re smart… smart as a fencepost!

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel’s butt. Just then a guy comes over and says, “What are you doing?” Osama replies, “About 2 miles back…

Your face is sad. Not that you’re crying, it’s that I feel sorry for you.

You’re so fat, when you sit around the house, you really sit around the house.

Maria went to the telephone booth to make her second insult call. She payed the telephone booth owner. Then she dialed: ABC-DEF-GHI. “Hello! May I take your order, please?” the Figaro delivery service said. “I want to order all the kinds of sushi you have, and please don’t forget the chopsticks.” Maria replied. “Looks like…

they says theres safety in numbers? tell that to six million jews!

Man: “Do you think I’ll lose my looks when I get older?” Friend: “With luck, yes.”

USA:What’s wrong world? World:(crying and sniffling) My kitty died! USA: That’s unfortunate. Here’s a couple hundred billion dollars my hardworking citizens paid. I was gonna spend it on education and defence and whatnot, but you need it more. World:(takes the money) Cheapass! (spits in USA’s face)