insults

Need help coming up with that perfect ditty for your better (or worse) half? Perhaps these will help inspire you! –These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line: Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss but I only slept with you,…

You’re so dumb, you staple in the middle of the paper!

I heard you tried to apply to work at a candy store. But they turned you down saying they already had enough air heads. Were you fat when you were born? Cause i think it all went straight to your head. Most people think outside the box. You still haven’t figured out how to get…

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old son, Johnny, and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” Little Johnny replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said. Little Johnny bowed his head and said, “Dear Lord,…

This is a insult I use on my brother’s girlfriend if she starts annoying me too much. She has a very tiny bridge in her nose that is only noticeable if you look close enough. Its fun to mess with her about it cause she is very self conscious about it. That bridge on your…

Why don’t niggers like dirt bikes? Because when it starts, it says: “Run nigga nigga run.”

You’re so ugly that your momma cried when she saw you after birth.

Look at those ears! You have so much wax, that if I stuck a wick in there you would sing “Happy Birthday!”

You call me ugly? Where is your mirror, boy?

Your breath is so bad, you need a tic-tac the size of a watermelon!

Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years? They heard that someone dropped a quarter

A man comes to dinner at a new friend’s house. While they eat, the new friend’s small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, ‘Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?’ The kid says, ‘Daddy told me you were a self-made man.’ ‘I am.’ ‘Well, why did you make…