insults

You’re so fat, when you sit around the house, you really sit around the house.

Maria went to the telephone booth to make her second insult call. She payed the telephone booth owner. Then she dialed: ABC-DEF-GHI. “Hello! May I take your order, please?” the Figaro delivery service said. “I want to order all the kinds of sushi you have, and please don’t forget the chopsticks.” Maria replied. “Looks like…

they says theres safety in numbers? tell that to six million jews!

Man: “Do you think I’ll lose my looks when I get older?” Friend: “With luck, yes.”

USA:What’s wrong world? World:(crying and sniffling) My kitty died! USA: That’s unfortunate. Here’s a couple hundred billion dollars my hardworking citizens paid. I was gonna spend it on education and defence and whatnot, but you need it more. World:(takes the money) Cheapass! (spits in USA’s face)

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a really pretty monkey.

You want me to write a joke!?!? The world is being attacked by aliens! AWWWWW! A warning; they have huge, hairy jaws and beady little eyes and long mangy hair and a huge nose and foul breath and and… oops. That’s just you.

Whats the object of Jewish football? To get the quarter back.

Boys are like diapers…. Always on my ass and full of shit.

You’re so poor I went in your front door and came out the back.

You’ll never guess what just happened! I just got arrested for punching a black woman. It wasn’t my fault it was my mom’s. We were in Home Depot when she told me to go find a Black & Decker.

You’re so dumb, you invented the solar powered flashlight!