insults

  • I Would Punch You

    I would punch you but I couldn’t make you any uglier.

  • Pointless

    If you were any more pointless, you would be a circle.

  • Diaoyu Islands

    Why did the Japanese steal the Diaoyu Islands? Because they don’t have enough room for their funny farms!

  • Comebacks!

    – You’re so stupid, you got locked inside a grocery store and starved to death! – You’re so big, you play pool with the planets! – You’re so fat, when you went outside in yellow clothes, someone screamed, “TAXI!” – You’re so big, when you go to the movies, you sit next to everyjoke! –…

  • You Are….

    You are so stupid you tripped over a cordless phone! You are so stupid you got locked in a furniture store and sat on the floor! You are so stupid you didn’t know how to swim so you got in the fish tank to try and learn!

  • Low IQ

    If your IQ was any lower you would trip on it.

  • Cream Filling

    Q: What do you say when you see a group full of black people? A: Where is the cream filling?

  • Disagreements…

    A blonde and a brunette have been fighting for over an hour about the sun. The brunette yells,”THE SUN IS A STAR!!!” The blonde yells,”NO IT’S EVERYONE IN THE WORLD’S FARTS!” The brunette says to the blonde,”Girl, you couldn’t play any stupider!” Shocked, the blonde says in reply,”Who’s playing?”

  • Perfetct Hallowen Costume

    The Perfect Halloween Costume A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note: Dear…

  • Brainstorm

    The closest you’ve ever come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle!

  • Roses are Red

    Roses are red Violets are blue God made me pretty What the heck happened to you?

  • Old Schoolers

    Some old school insults for yall… You depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. So dumb you couldnt hold water in a bucket. Happiness: seeing your picture on a milk carton. Your mouth rarely makes calls to the brain. Missing a layer of insulation in your attic. You’re so fat, when you turn around people…