lawyer
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Honest Lawyer, Ulaiy
in JokesTwo lawyers were in a coffee shop talking. One of the lawyers names was Thomas Ulaiy (A-lie). After a while their conversation became rather morbid, and they started to talk about what they were going to have on their tomb stones. Thomas said the he wasn’t going to have his name put on his tomb…
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A Lawer in a Ambulance!
in JokesBob and Joe, a couple of personal injury lawyers, were discussing conditions in the legal profession. “How’s business?” asked Bob. “Absolutely rotten!” responded Joe. “How have you been doing?” “Even worse,” Bob replied. “I just chased an ambulance twelve miles and found a LAWYER inside it.”
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How Can You Tell If a Lawyer is Lying?
in JokesHow can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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Now THAT is High Resolution
in JokesThe New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.
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Oh! My Heart!
in JokesAn elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have three possible donors. The first is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. The third is…
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Being Screwed By An Attorney
in Jokes“Can I help you?” the madam asked “I want Natalie,” the elderly man replied. “Sir, Natalie is our most expensive lady, perhaps someone else…” “No,” said the man, “I must see Natalie.” Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $10,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his…
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The Inscription
in JokesA lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to…
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Cra-Z Laws:Arizona
in JokesArizona ⢠A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. ⢠Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back in the days of the Wild West). ⢠Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. ⢠Donkeys cannot…
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Duelling Judges
in JokesTyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in court on the appointed day, no one was there, so instead of wasting time waiting around they decided to try each other. Motioning Tyler to the stand, Katz said, “How do you plead?” “Guilty.” “That’ll be fifty dollars and a…