lawyer

Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? It’s called, Sosumi.

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan’s well-oiled economic machine. It’s only a matter of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it’s something much more economically debilitating – and permanent.…

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, “Why are you eating grass”. The man replied, “I’m so poor, I can’t afford a thing to eat.” So the laywer said, “Poor guy, come back to…

What are the three questions most commonly asked by lawyers? 1. How much money do you have? 2. Where can you get more? 3. Do you have anything you can sell?

Lawyers are safe from the threat of automation taking over their professions. No one would build a robot to do nothing.

Q: What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river? A: Pollution. Q: What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge? A: Solution.

A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.” The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer.” Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer…

What do a circus and congress have in common? They are both full of CLOWNS

– When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other. – During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway. – He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser.” – During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy. – He asks a hostile witness to “pull my…

Q:What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer? A:The leech stops sucking you dry after you’re dead.