lawyer

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three lawyers buys a ticket while the three engineers buy only one ticket. “How can the three of you travel on one ticket?” asks a lawyer. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. Aboard the train the…

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse: You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment!

A motorcycle officer stopped a man who ran a red light. The guy was a real jerk, demanding, “Why am I being harassed by the Gestapo?!” The officer calmly told him of his violation. The man erupted in a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry and pastimes in explicit terms. The officer took it in stride,…

A man sat in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.” “That’s the bad news?” asked the man, incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible news…

Post Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans residents are challenged often with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, often making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here’s a great letter an attorney…

The Wacky Warning Label Contest, now in its 11th year, is conducted by Novi-based Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch as part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels. Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500 grand prize for submitting the winning label. The $250 second place was…

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes…

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, “Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man.” “Well, how about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave.”

A little blind rabbit and a little blind snake met each other in the woods one day and, as neither of them could see what species they were so they decided to feel each other and then describe each other so that the rabbit would know what kind of animal he was and the snake…

Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren’t met.

A mugger approached a very well-dressed and dignified lawyer on a deserted street one night: “Gimme your wallet and the keys to your car!” The lawyer shook his head and said in a patronizing tone: “Do you have ANY idea what it’s like to walk in my shoes or wear my clothes? I have more…

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S. Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930’s. He was an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals, and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books…