lightbulb

  • Colorguard Girls

    Q: How many colorguard girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Five, one to call the colorguard forward and four to take it down with a ceremony.

  • Geriatric Joke

    How many old geezers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Back in my day, we didn’t have lightbulbs. We put candles in tin cans and hung them from the ceiling with thread. And we had to walk uphill both ways to school in a blizzard with nothing but a potato to keep us…

  • Shipping Department

    Q: How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can change the bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you call before 2 p.m. and pay an extra $15, we can get it changed overnight.

  • Stage Employees

    Q: How many roadies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 2. One to try to hammer it in with a microphone, and another to find a cable to plug that microphone in. Q: How many union members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: If we do screw in that…

  • Just Right For The Job

    Q: How many believable, competent, “just right for the job” presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It’s going to be a dark 4 years, isn’t it?

  • Republicans

    How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they only screw the poor.

  • Jewish Mothers

    Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None. It’s all right. I’ll just sit here in the dark. Don’t worry about me…

  • Breakfast With Chris

    This is from a script for an upcoming animated series I’m working on. Keep in mind that Chris is 19 years-old. Setting-Turner household Characters-Chris, Johnathan, and Evan (wearing maids uniform) (Chris walks into the living room with his backpack on. Johnathan is eating breakfast, and Evan is mopping the kitchen floor.) Johnathan: Hey Chris are…

  • Hubluzas

    How many Hubluzas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There is no lightbulb!

  • The Teachers

    How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to turn it the other to grade the person.

  • My Favorite Lightbulb Jokes

    HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb. HOW MANY EPISCOPALIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? A: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say…

  • How Many?

    How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.