medical

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He says, “Doctor, doctor, you’ve got to help me! My elbow keeps coming untied. . . my belly button is out of order. . . I can’t open my chest. . . I’m losing the leaves in my palm. . . somejoke threw my waist in the trash.…

Nathan goes to see his doctor. After a lengthy examination the doctor sighs, and says, “I’ve some bad news for you, Nathan. You have an incurable cancer. I suggest you quickly put your affairs in order.” Nathan is initially shocked, but then, being a calm, solid character, he composes himself and quietly leaves the doctor’s…

Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse, took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I meet one of the young doctors here, I end up dating him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a…

The man told his doctor that he just wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English… What’s wrong with me?” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re simply a…

This is a true story that happened in a South African hospital. There was this case in the hospital where a patient always died in the same bed and on a Friday morning regardless of his medical condition. This puzzles the doctors and some even think it has something to do with the supernatural. One…

“Doctor, Doctor! My friend has only 59 seconds to live.” “Don’t worry, I’ll be there in a minute.”

How does boodler reproduce? By Fucking Battery’s fat-Shit-and-cum filled ass

A distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” the woman wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious my…

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair. She loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her. Some of the male residents even…

Additional quotes made by physicians in actual medical records: 1. Discharge status: alive but without permission. 2. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. 3. The patient refused an autopsy. 4. The patient has no past history of suicides. 5. Patient has left his white blood cells at another…

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, I’m so depressed and lonely. I don’t have any friends, no one will come near me, and everyjoke laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?” “I’m sure I can,” the psychiatrist…

On the first day of her vacation, a woman fell and broke her leg. As the doctor examined her, she moaned, “Why couldn’t this have happened on my last day of skiing?” He looked up. “This IS your last day of skiing.”