medical

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a…

Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a train. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Well… The bad news first… Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had…

Doctor doctor! I keep thinking I’m invisible! WHO SAID THAT?!?!?

A nurse dies and goes to heaven. She is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter who asks her questions about her life. Over St. Peter’s shoulder the nurse spots a man in a white coat sitting on a cloud with a stethoscope around his neck. “Oh brother!” she cries. “Is that a doctor?”…

Why did the book have to go to the hospital? Because it injured its spine.

DOCTORS WERE TOLD TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE CONSTRUCTION OF A NEW HOSPITAL WING AT THE HOSPITAL. WHAT WAS THEIR REACTION? The allergists voted to scratch it. The dermatologists preferred no rash moves. The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it. The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve. The obstreticians stated they were…

A veterinarian was feeling ill, so he went to see his doctor. The doctor asked all the usual questions … what symptoms did he have, how long had they been occurring, etc., when the vet interrupted him: “Look, doc, I’m a vet and I can’t ask my patients these questions. I can tell what’s wrong…

A policeman was rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. The doctors operated and informed him that all went well. However, he kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Concerned that there was a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally mustered up the energy to pull his hospital gown…

This guy’s at work when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that his wife’s been in an accident. He rushes to the emergency room where he’s met by the doctor. They sit down in the waiting room and the doctor, with a very solemn look on his face starts to speak. But…

Things You Don’t Want to Hear When Regaining Consciousness “I don’t know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.” “Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he’s still moving.” “Blink once for ‘yes’.” “What do you mean we have the wrong patient?” “Why is there a tag on his toe?”…

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!” The…

A man went to the hospital with a sprained ankle. The doctor said, “Don’t worry, you’ll be walking in no time.” He was. The doctor stole his car.