menwomen
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Multi-tasking
in JokesI know that most jokes about women involve the fact that they are not as “smart” as men and they cannot do two things at once. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have never met a woman, no matter what age, who cannot multi-task, all women can multi-task. They talk and piss you…
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A Piece Of It
in JokesMary took her husband Bernie to see a psychiatrist for a check up. After examining him, the doctor took Mary to one side and said, “I have some very bad news for you. There is nothing I can do to help your husband. His mind has completely gone.” “I’m not really surprised,” Mary replied, “Bernie’s…
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Playing Poker
in JokesWhen the phone rang, she excused herself from the sofa. A few seconds later she rejoined her male companion. “Who was it?” he asked. “My husband,” she replied. “I better get going,” he said. “Where was he?” “Relax. He’ll be late, he’s playing poker with you.”
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Can People be Taken Apart Like Machines???
in JokesA young boy asked his mother, “Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?” “Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?” replied his mother. The young boy answered, “The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he’d like to screw the tail…
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Two Sisters …
in JokesTwo sisters are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died. 1st sister: “I froze to death.” 2nd sister: “How horrible!” 1st sister: “It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about…
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Unmasked
in JokesA young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Costume party. The wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party and have a good time. Being the devoted husband, he protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to…
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Always Wal- Mart
in JokesA woman goes into Wal- Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the cash register . A Wal – Mart associate is standing there with dark shades on. She says,” Excuse me , sir , can you tell me…
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Waiting For the Train
in JokesA man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed… just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window…
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Happiness…
in JokesTo be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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Signs of Aging II
in JokesSigns of Aging You just can’t stand people who are intolerant. The best part of your day is over when your alarm clock goes off. You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm. Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by. The little grey haired lady you…
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What He Really Means
in JokesInsider’s Guide to the Male Vocabulary ”Haven’t I seen you before?” = ”Nice ass.” ”I’m a Romantic.” = ”I’m poor.” ”I need you.” = ”My hand is tired.” ”I am different from all the other guys.” = ”I am not circumcised.” ”I want a commitment.” = ”I’m sick of masturbation.” ”You’re the only girl I’ve…