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How Greeks Do Business CON talks to his son George. CON (father): “I want you to marry a girl of my choice.” GEORGE (son): “I will choose my own bride!” CON (father): “But the girl is Bill Gates’ daughter..” GEORGE (son): “Well, in that case… okay.” Next CON approaches Bill Gates. CON (father): “I have…

There once was a girl named Ann Hyser Who claimed that no man could surprise her. But old Pabst made a push at the Schlitz in her Busch and now she is sadder Budweiser! *This joke was made by Bill Klompus* Go Bill!!

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife,…

Husband messages his wife on his cellphone: Hi, wat R U doing honey? Wife replies: I’m dying Husband is delighted and jumps with joy, but texts: OMG! How am I gonna live without u? Wife replies: u idiot. I’m dying my hair Husband: *@&!#*/ English

One year, a particular harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed…

Q: What is a man’s idea of helping you with the housework? A: Lifting up his legs so you can vacuum underneath them.

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one…

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch. One lady turns and asks, “Do you still get frisky?” The other replies, “Oh, sure I do.” The first woman asks, “What do you do about it?” The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.” After a few moments, the first old lady asks, “Who…

Six Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life THE DOCTOR, because he says, “Take your clothes off.” THE DENTIST, because he says, “Open wide.” THE HAIRDRESSER, because he says, “Do you want them teased or blown?” THE MILKMAN, because he says, “Do you want it in the back or in the front?” THE INTERIOR DECORATOR,…

Perfect breasts (o)(o) Silicone breasts ( + )( + ) Perky breasts (*)(*) Big nipple breasts (@)(@) A cups o o D cups { O }{ O } Wonder bra breasts (oYo) Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) Lopsided breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(O) Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p) Grandma’s Breasts o / o /…

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out. The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing, fit to bust. The pharmacist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, if the man returns,…