menwomen

A fellow was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have…

A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. “Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?” His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars.…

He v. She The family picture is on his desk – Ah, a solid, responsible family man. The family picture is on her desk – Um, her family will come before her career. His desk is cluttered – He’s obviously a hard worker and a busy man. Her desk is cluttered – She’s obviously a…

A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph, with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing, but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, “I don’t…

One night a couple was in their room and the woman had just performed amazing oral on her man. He asked her where she had learned how to do it like that. She than said to him, “It took some practice but your dad finally taught me how to do it right.”

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early, and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the…

For those of you that remember the old Mitch Miller song “Sweet Violets” This is a crude take off on it… (p.s. – this is similar to Gizzers ‘Sweet Violets’ #604 but different, funnier and possibly cruder!) There was a young farmer who lived on a rock He liked to count sheep while he fingered…

Joe and Bill are out fishing and sipping beer while discussing football and NASCAR. All of a sudden Joe says, “I think I’m gonna divorce my wife. She hasn’t spoken to me in over 6 months.” Bill sips his beer and says, “You better think it over, women like that are hard to find.”

At a posh Manhattan dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about this home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, “And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children.” As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, “You see, my wife…

Mr. and Mrs. Wong are a married couple who live in China. After being married for three years, they decided to have a baby. They ended up having a baby girl with mental disabilities. They named her ‘Somting Wong’.

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?” She glanced at him casually and replied, “You’re never home!”

A very old man and a woman are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The man starts crying quietly. Touched by the mans sensitive side, she goes over to him, hugs him, and asks him whats the matter. The man says, “Remember when we were 15 and your daddy who was a sheriff caught us? And…