menwomen

Women Between the ages of 18 – 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild, and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas. Between the ages of 21 – 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with…

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE – “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!” My mother taught me RELIGION – “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL – “If you don’t straighten up, I’m…

A couple enjoyed getting away from their high-stress jobs by spending weekends in their motor home, but their peace and quiet was often disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers. Finally, they found a way to assure themselves privacy. They painted a sign near their RV’s door: “Ask us about our Whole Life…

The ten things a guy knows about a girl: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. They have boobs.

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here.”

A new bride told her husband she was concerned that their honeymoon suite in the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C., might still be bugged from the Watergate scandal days. The groom agreed to check it out. He looked behind the drapes, he looked behind the pictures, he looked behind the mirrors, he looked under the…

These are just a few of those typical sexist jokes- they make me chuckle ( or groan) so ya know- I’m a girl : ) *what’s worse than a male chauvinist pig? – A woman who won’t do what she’s told. *I married Mrs. Right- I just wish I’d known her first name was Always…

Father: “So you want to be my son-in-law, do you?” Boyfriend: “Not particularly, but since I want to marry your daughter, I haven’t much choice!”

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.…

Every day, Mr. Koch has to cross the river by ferry in order to get to work. Waking up late one morning, he dressed quickly, ran out the door and raced to the dock. The boat was several yards away, and stepping back and taking a mighty leap, Mr. Koch landed with a crash on…

Seminars for Females (Prepared and presented by Males) 1. Elementary map reading 2. Crying and law enforcement 3. Advanced math seminar: Programming your VCR 4. You can go shopping for less than 4 hours 5. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: A study in contrast. 6. PMS: It’s your problem, not mine…

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: The First Time the Child Fell and Got a Cut First child: My wife and I frantically ran over to the child. We swept…