menwomen

A few rules for what men can and cannot wear at a private pool. 1) Speedos. Speedos cannot be worn by men under the following conditions: 1A) If when you look down, you can’t see the color of your Speedo, you probably should not be wearing one. No matter how manly your chest may be,…

A woman goes into Wal-Mart and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it doesn’t work. The clerk tells her that he can’t give her a refund because she bought it on special. All of a sudden, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming!…

Adult Male

Well both the girl and the emo bleed blood and both of them are annoying as hell in the process.

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his…

Chances of a Man Winning an Argument: Dating: 50% Engagement: 25% Marriage Period: 0%, very rare

A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her to “go downtown” so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head this way and that, studying the whole business. After about five minutes of this, he…

One Monday morning, a mailman was walking through the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approached one of the homes, Bob, a homeowner, was coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party this weekend,” the mailman commented. Bob replied,…

Boy: “Miss, may I kiss you?” Girl: “No.” Boy: “Could you let me embrace your waist with my arms?” Girl: “No.” Boy: “Well, then, may I touch your hands?” Girl: “No.” Boy: “Why do you keep saying ‘No’ all the time?” Girl: “Mom said, when date with a boyfriend for the first time, remember to…

Bernie and Faye, a wealthy couple, are coming up to their ruby wedding anniversary and Faye has been thinking for some months about how they should celebrate. She comes to a decision. “Bernie,” she says, “I’m going to book us a wonderful 6 weeks cruise. I know you don’t like ships because you got sea…

Why do men pick their noses while driving? Because their butts are too hard to reach!

Dear Husband: I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and…