menwomen

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine’s Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, “I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?” With certainty in his voice, the man said, “You’ll know tonight.” That evening, the man came home with a small package and handed…

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. After a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of…

Women Between the ages of 18 – 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild, and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas. Between the ages of 21 – 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with…

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE – “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!” My mother taught me RELIGION – “You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL – “If you don’t straighten up, I’m…

A couple enjoyed getting away from their high-stress jobs by spending weekends in their motor home, but their peace and quiet was often disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers. Finally, they found a way to assure themselves privacy. They painted a sign near their RV’s door: “Ask us about our Whole Life…

The ten things a guy knows about a girl: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. They have boobs.

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here.”

A new bride told her husband she was concerned that their honeymoon suite in the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C., might still be bugged from the Watergate scandal days. The groom agreed to check it out. He looked behind the drapes, he looked behind the pictures, he looked behind the mirrors, he looked under the…

These are just a few of those typical sexist jokes- they make me chuckle ( or groan) so ya know- I’m a girl : ) *what’s worse than a male chauvinist pig? – A woman who won’t do what she’s told. *I married Mrs. Right- I just wish I’d known her first name was Always…

Father: “So you want to be my son-in-law, do you?” Boyfriend: “Not particularly, but since I want to marry your daughter, I haven’t much choice!”

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.…

Every day, Mr. Koch has to cross the river by ferry in order to get to work. Waking up late one morning, he dressed quickly, ran out the door and raced to the dock. The boat was several yards away, and stepping back and taking a mighty leap, Mr. Koch landed with a crash on…