menwomen

A man died in a horrible fire. The mortician thought it was George, but the joke was so badly burned that somejoke would need to make a positive identification. That task fell to George’s two friends, Joe and Al. Joe: “He’s burnt pretty bad, all right. Roll him over.” Joe looked at the dead man’s…

A man and a women are making love for the first time. “Cor what a small organ!” the women sniggered “It may be small, darling” replied the man “but it’s never played in a Cathedral before!”

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless. EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike,…

Once there was this little Italian boy in the fields with his father. Looking at his dad’s hands, the boy says, “Papa, you do many things with your hands, tell me about your fingers.” “Wella Tony,” Papa said, “You see this first finger? You use this one to point to where ever you want to.…

The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, “You know, you’re really a lousy lover!” The husband replies, “How would you know after only 30 seconds?”

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She points him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge…

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was probably having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and that this would reflect badly on the whole family, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably…

WIFE : ” I wish I was a newspaper, so I’d be in your hands all day.” HUSBAND : ” I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday!”

A woman went to a wishing well and wished that she could become a better driver. So she turned into a man.

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her joke because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his joke that the doctor…

My wife is so house-proud, we live next door.

What do you call an intelligent, good looking man? A: A rumor!