menwomen

An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the…

A furniture dealer from Knoxville, Tennessee, decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip to the French capitol), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a…

The medics rush Mr. Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues. In a couple of days Mr. Steinberg’s physician comes into his room and says, “Sol, I’m happy…

The perfect man and the perfect woman got married, had a perfect honeymoon, and got a perfect car. One day, they were driving along and Santa Claus was on the side of the road. His sleigh had broken down, and he needed a ride to the next town. The perfect couple were nice, and let…

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. – Henny Youngman

She frowned and called him Mr. Because in sport he kr. And so in spite That very night The Mr. kr. sr.

Bob, an extremely wealthy 60-year-old, arrives at a country club with a beautiful and charming 25-year-old blonde. His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob exclaims, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” His friends are shocked, but continue to ask, “So, how’d you persuade…

It was a very hot day in Minnesota. Inga finished hanging up the wash, put dinner in the oven and headed downtown to do some errands. “Gootness, it’s hot,” she mused to herself, as she walked down Main Street. As she passed by a tavern, she thought, “Vy nodt?” So she walked in and took…

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, “She’s/he’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising. You see…

At a local college dance in Sweden, an American asked a local girl to dance. While they were dancing, he gave her a little squeeze, and whispered, “In America, we call this a hug.” She replied, “Yaah, in Sveden ve call dis a hug, too.” A little later, he gave her a peck on the…

Pete’s at work when he realises he’s forgotten to ask his wife, Alison, where he should pick her up after work. He calls home, and after several seconds, Ali answers the phone. Pete asks his question, and Ali shouts, “You got me out of the bath to ask me that? I dashed to the phone;…

Two guys are sitting in a bar. The one says to the other, “Are you going to the Johnsons’ tonight?” The other says, “Dunno, I don’t feel like it, but my wife wants to.” “Yeah, me too, I don’t feel like it, but my wife insists.” Both of them sigh deeply, look at each other…