menwomen

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can’t stand it any more, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that…

A heavy-set woman goes into a drug store and asks for talcum powder. The bowlegged clerk says, “Walk this way,” and the woman answers, “If I could walk that way I would not need talcum powder!”

A man has just been in a car accident and has severe brain damage. So his sister is called in to take care of his medical decisions. First off, the doctor decides the man needs a new brain since his is so badly damaged. So they need to go find a brain for the transplant.…

You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don’t you? The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts.

What a woman says… This place is a mess! C’mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now! What a man hears… blah blah blah blah blah C’MON! YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!…

One day a man and a woman were driving and they get into a terrible collision with each other. Both cars are wrecked beyond recognition, but they both crawl out of the wreckage unhurt. The woman says, “In a terrible accident…both of us are alive and, well, this must be a sign from God!” The…

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A: A quarter pounder with cheese.

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, ‘Boy was my wife mad at me last night. She went on and on and wouldn’t stop!’ The other Buddy says, ‘When my wife goes off on me I just don’t listen.’ ‘How do you do that?’ says the…

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses, one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that…

It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain t he same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there ain’t nothing worse then an oversensitive woman. My name is…

A man and his wife were having some problems and giving each other the silent treatment. The man realized that he’d need his wife to wake him the next morning at 5:00 a.m, for an early flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of…

What does PMS stand for? Potential Murder Suspect