menwomen

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: The First Step First child: My wife grabbed the camera; I grabbed the video camera. My wife took four rolls of film. We immediately…

A woman and her lover are in bed, when there’s a knock on the door. She says, “It must be my husband! Ok, I’ll handle this.” She grabs the trash bin, opens the door and, smiling sweetly, says to her husband, “Darling, please empty the trash.” While he is out, the other man escapes and…

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was…

CONCLUSION: There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting: 30% of women think their ass is too fat . . . 10% of women think their ass is too skinny . . . The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s…

Worried that they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the apartment next door, the mother said to her son, “Tony, would you go next door and see how Old Mrs. Pierpoint is?” A few minutes later, Tony returned. “Well, is she all right?” asked the mother. “She’s fine, but she’s rather annoyed…

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3. Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4. Married life is very…

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful … CAREFUL!! Put in some more butter!! Oh my Gosh!! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!! Turn them!! TURN THEM NOW!! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh!! WHERE are we going to…

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table. Finally the wife asks, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right…

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your…

Two girls board a crowded bus and one of them whispers to the other, “Watch me embarrass a man into giving me his seat.” Pushing her way through the crowd, she turned all of her charms upon a gentleman who looked like he might embarrass easily. “My dear Mr. Wilson,” she gushed, “fancy meeting you…

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s…

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. “It’s a…