menwomen

You know you are addicted to coffee if … You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.…

Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn’t afford it so they had all of the weddings on the same day. They also couldn’t afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new husbands. That night the mother got up because she couldn’t sleep. When she went past…

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honour and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d…

A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes that she is headed straight toward his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Anxious…

A woman, who had just been married to a gambling man, had learned upon marrying him that he always came home well after midnight. She didn’t like this one bit, and no amount of reasoning with him would make him miss a night out with the guys, so every night for a week she would…

Two cowboys from Arkansas walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices. Suddenly a woman at a table behind them who had been eating a sandwich begins to cough. After few moments it becomes apparent that she…

Charlie: “My wife has the worst memory ever.” Tom: “She forgets everything, huh?” Charlie: “No, she REMEMBERS everything!”

In your next life would you rather be a female bear? If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. Could you deal with that? Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. Could you deal with that too? If you’re a bear, you give birth to…

Michael and Beth are married, Beth is a smoker but Michael thinks smoking is horrible. One night she started smoking after they finished having sex and Michael said, “Would you please stop smoking, you’re going to kill yourself.” Beth, in return, said, “Sometimes I just need to get in a smoke after sex, do you…

1. Happy Anniversery! 2.You’re wearing THAT to the party!!?? 3.Do I look fat in this? 4.You didn’t know it was my birthday today!? 5.Oh my god! Can’t we just be friends! 6.Listen honey we have to talk… I think, I’m pregnant. 7.Here’s 100 dollars! 8.Hey! Is it okay if some of my friends come over…

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and…

At a wedding rehearsal, the pastor told the father of the bride, “As you give your daughter’s hand to the bridegroom, you should say something nice to him.” The father, a department store manager, took the advice. During the wedding ceremony, he placed his daughter’s hand on his son-in-law’s arm and said, “No deposit, no…