menwomen

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was probably having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant, and that this would reflect badly on the whole family, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably…

WIFE : ” I wish I was a newspaper, so I’d be in your hands all day.” HUSBAND : ” I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday!”

A woman went to a wishing well and wished that she could become a better driver. So she turned into a man.

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her joke because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his joke that the doctor…

My wife is so house-proud, we live next door.

What do you call an intelligent, good looking man? A: A rumor!

An oil company was drilling test pits on the West coast of Newfoundland and never found anything so instead of filling the hole up they got a clever idea to cover the hole with an outhouse. So a week after, a Newfoundlander came across it in the woods and decided to use it. The next…

– Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing. – When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, “The skin bus to tuna town,” and then laughs until he cries. – You note that integrity is so important in a man,…

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, “I’m…

While reading a newspaper, Morty came across an article about a beautiful actress marrying a football player who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “Why do the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.” His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”

In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman’s ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in…

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, “Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She’s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it’s not a big deal but it feels good.” The next day…